Today, I Didn't Win - A Collaborative Law Success Story

Everyday someone fails. Sometimes marriages fail and sometimes parents fail. Sometimes the courts fail families and sometimes lawyers do. Sometimes mediation fails to help people reach agreements, and sometimes people fail to help themselves.

But sometimes, we also succeed. There are success stories in family court, mediation and collaborative sessions that save relationships, and parents who overcome divorce to raise good confident children. Today was one of those success stories and it's one worth sharing:

Today, I didn't fight for my client. I didn't beat the opposing party. I didn't solve the problem triumphantly by myself.

Today, I didn't win.

Instead, the opposing counsel, the collaborative coach and I did something together, as a team. We helped two parents talk. That might seem simple and easy, but for some parents, in some situations, it is not. It took preparation and time, and some failures along the way. It took a process designed to help and it took people willing to believe in the possibility of peace.

Today Collaborative Law resulted in a successful meeting, not just because of the process, but because of the people. It's not over yet and we might still falter, but today it wasn't about winning, and so it also wasn't about losing. Today it was just about being parents together, and listening to each other.

Today, we made a family stronger.

Tomorrow, we might fail again, but because of days like today I know that peace even in the face of terrible conflict is always possible.

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