UPDATE: With the passage of the Massachusetts Parentage Act, the definitions of legal parentage have been updated by the legislature.  Read this article to learn more:  The Massachusetts Parentage Act by Polly Crozier, Director of Family Advocacy, GLBTQ Legal Advocates & Defenders Original Post: Post by Julie Tolek .  Julie is an Associate at Skylark Law & Mediation, PC and runs her own practice, Think Pink Law.  Julie's practice includes family law & divorce representation, firearms licensing & NFA trusts, estate planning & probate, and adoptions. Three's Company:  Three Parent Adoptions When most people think of legal parenthood, they probably think of it as a single or joint endeavor with another person. An often overlooked but equally legal option is to have more than two legal parents. In situations in which there are more than two people who would like to care for a child and have legal parental rights, a three parent adoptio...

Everyday someone fails.  Sometimes marriages fail and sometimes parents fail.   Sometimes the courts fail families and sometimes lawyers do.  Sometimes mediation fails to help people reach agreements, and sometimes people fail to help themselves. But sometimes, we also succeed.  There are success stories in family court, mediation and collaborative sessions that save relationships, and parents who overcome divorce to raise good confident children.  Today was one of those success stories and it's one worth sharing: Today, I didn't fight for my client.  I didn't beat the opposing party.  I didn't solve the problem triumphantly by myself. Today, I didn't win. Instead, the opposing counsel, the collaborative coach and I did something together, as a team.  We helped two parents talk.  That might seem simple and easy, but for some parents, in some situations, it is not.  It took preparation and time, and some failures along the way. ...

Source: BestMastersInCounseling.com

A number of recent appellate decisions in Massachusetts have addressed the boundaries of what Probate and Family Court trial judges have the power to do.  Agreements reached between the parties, however, can include provisions that the judges don't otherwise have the authority to order.   In this four part blog series we will explore some of the important areas that an Agreement can address but the trial court is limited in addressing.  These are just some of  the most recent examples, and not intended to be an exhaustive list of all the ways that Agreements are better than  letting a Judge decide your fate . Part 4:  Parent Coordinator:  Do you want help resolving parenting disputes without returning to court? In Part 1 , we discussed how the Appeals Court in Ventrice overturned a lower court's order that required parties to engage in out-of-court mediation prior to filing any further action in the Probate and Family Court.   While Parent...

While parenting of adolescents is challenging by itself, divorce and separated parenting can add even more complication.  We often encourage parents to consider the use of trained therapists to assist when issues arise with co-parenting teenagers.  Carly Baker, a trained Collaborative Coach and therapist, is offering two upcoming 8 week therapeutic support groups for parents of adolescents: Flyer for Daytime program beginning on Wed, April 29, 2015 Flyer for Evening program beginning on Tuesday, May 5, 2015 Click here for more information on Separated Parenting.

Snow days are one of the most exciting events when you're a child, especially if it means a reprieve from an upcoming test or homework due date.  But for parents, snow days are a significant inconvenience including last-minute schedule changes and all the fun involved in snow removal.  In addition, many employers will expect you to "work from home" but that is easier said than done when you have young children (as I write this I'm being asked by a three year-old why she can't have candy for breakfast). As with many issues separated parenting exacerbates many of these inconveniences.  For separated parents, a snow day means additional questions such as which parent is in charge and who is responsible for snow removal at a shared property.   For parents who have chosen litigation to resolve their divorce, these disagreements could mean additional attorney's fees or court dates.  By contrast, all of these challenges are minimized when parents work together, a...

In the case of Bower v. Bournay-Bower , the Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court has ruled that Judges in the Probate and Family Court cannot grant a Parent Coordinator  binding authority over the objection of one of the parties.  However, the SJC went much further then necessary in order to open the door for what might be the "appropriate circumstances" to order a Parent Coordinator. In Bower , the SJC summarized the trial judge's order as requiring a parent coordinator to: "hear the parties' current and future disputes regarding custody and visitation in the first instance, before the parties could file any action regarding these disputes in court. The order also granted the parent coordinator the authority to make binding decisions on matters of custody and visitation and provided that these decisions must be complied with by the parties as if they were court orders unless one of the parties were to go to the court before the decision was to take effect...

In Massachusetts, if you have any minor children at the time of the filing of a divorce case, you are required to attend the Court-sponsored Parents Apart education program before you can be divorced.  There has not traditionally been a similar requirement for never married parents in Massachusetts, despite the fact that separating parents will have many of the same issues regardless of whether they were married or not. Children whose parents live in separate households may face many of the same difficulties regardless of whether their parents were married.  Recognizing this need, the Probate & Family Court in Massachusetts has a pilot program in three counties seeking to expand parent education for never married parents.  Under Standing Order 6-08  Judges in Hampshire, Essex and Suffolk counties may order parents to attend a program known as "For the Children" when they are a party to a Complaint to Establish Paternity, a Complaint for Custody/Support/Visitat...

When parents are considering the D-word, they may have many fears, concerns and questions:  How will I afford a divorce?   How often will I see my children?   Where will I live?  Will the divorce hurt my children?   For most parents this last question can be so concerning that it causes them to put off their divorce.  Even when a divorce is inevitable parents are often paralyzed by their fear of how the divorce may impact their children, especially when the children are young.  This fear is warranted because many parents significantly damage their children's mental health by how they divorce and how they manage their relationship after the divorce. A recent thread on Reddit highlighted the question:   Reddit Children of Divorce, what was the biggest thing you learned from your parents split and how did you end up? Many of the responses are both heartbreaking and insightful: Excerpt from  AskReddit Split, a recent film, also explore...

UPDATE: There is at least one company now offering greeting cards designed specifically for ex's:  https://xcardsgreetings.com/   If you don't live in the NY/NJ area you may have to order online, but if you plan ahead you could really make an impression on your ex. Original Post: I stopped at the grocery store yesterday to pick up a few items.  Since this weekend we celebrate Mother's day I made the obligatory trip down the greeting card aisle.  Of course, the seasonal section was a sea of pastel colored cards ranging from religious to sappy to funny (or appropriately politically correct kinda-funny).  There were cards separated into sections "For My Wife", "From Daughter", "From Son", for grandmothers and even great-grandmothers. But there weren't any cards in the aisle labeled "For My Ex-Wife." Why not? One Judge in Plymouth County has a standard speech he gives divorcing spouses right before he approves their final div...