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Showing posts from October, 2019

You're Thinking about Conflict All Wrong

Today is the third Thursday of October, which also happens to be Conflict Resolution Day.  While that may not seem as fun as International Pancake Day, Conflict Resolution Day is an opportunity to think about the challenges we face in our lives, and wonder:

Is there a better way to think about conflict;  a model which can free us from our fear of conflict?
Conflict is a part of everyday life.  In our individual struggles to survive, grow, connect, and control the world around us, we often find that someone or something is in our way or making it harder to reach our goals.  It is a natural, animal instinct to envision these conflicts as a simple dichotomy: me v. you, us v. them, plaintiff v. defendant, the hero v. the villain, etc.  We see conflict most simply as a tug of war between two positions, two competing interests.  But what if we're thinking about conflict all wrong.

If I win, you lose.  If you win, I lose.
Picturing conflict as a one-dimensional struggle between two forces a…