Skip to main content

If I leave the House, will I lose my Kids?

The most common reason for divorcing spouses to continue living in the same house is because neither wants to leave their children behind. When a parent leaves the home and moves to another location without an agreement for parenting plan in place, they are essentially ceding physical custody to the other parent. Physical custody is simply defined as who the children reside with and unless there is a plan in place, if only one parent lives in the children's home, then that parent necessarily has physical custody (it is possible for a parent to move out with the children, but this is unusual except in cases of abuse).

While many parents will fight over who can remain in the home during this time period, this argument is a distraction from the reality that eventually divorcing spouses will live separate and apart. It makes more sense for the spouse who will eventually move to begin investigating their other options as soon as possible, and for parents to work out a realistic parenting plan prior to that move. Rather than use this argument as a ploy to fight over the children, discussing practical resolutions will focus both parents on how much time each will spend with their child instead of focusing on what they are losing. Divorce will never leave each person whole, but to the greatest extent possible parents should strive to keep their children from getting caught in the middle of any disputes.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

2024 U.S. Presidential Party Platforms - What are the policy positions that could affect families?

While the laws that affect family formation, marriage and divorce are often made at the state level, there are also many policies and laws at the federal level that affect families and children.  Just some examples from recent years that have impacted families in my mediation practice include changes to the federal tax laws (such as  the elimination of the alimony tax deduction ) and U.S. Supreme Court rulings on same sex marriage and reproductive health rights.  In just over a month, the United States presidential election will have a significant impact on these federal policies going forward, and could choose the next appointments to the U.S. Supreme Court as well. In 2016 and 2020 we shared what each presidential platform said about families and policy regarding family formation and dissolution, and below we'll provide you an update on the 2024 presidential platforms.  As Maya Angelou said, "When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time."...

Updating your Divorce Agreement Template - More Lessons from Cavanagh v. Cavanagh

We recently posted a lengthy review of the the Massachusetts SJC decision in Cavanagh v. Cavanagh (2002)  which included some recommendations for drafting divorce agreements, also typically called Separation Agreements.  The Cavanagh case is best known for it's clarification of how the courts should evaluate support calculations when a case may have both alimony and child support.  However, the case also contained numerous rulings that should make practitioners review their Separation Agreement templates and change some of the ways in which they may have previously drafted certain sections. In this post we'll share actual language from the Gray Jay Endeavors, LLC form Separation Agreement template which addresses each of the issues raised by the Cavanagh decision.  If you are a professional interested in purchasing the full Separation Agreement template, check out Gray Jay's  forms subscription which includes editable Massachusetts court forms and financial st...

Co-Parenting Coordinator Agreements - What They Can Do and How to Draft Them

Photo by Marcelo Silva on Unsplash Conflict between parents negatively affects children but for some parents it's hard to avoid conflict when separating or divorcing.  Loss, grief, and anger all make it difficult to co-parent and some parents need help overcoming those barriers. One of the professionals that can help parents reduce conflict by assisting them in making the necessary co-parenting decisions is a Co-Parenting Coordinator.  The duties of a Co-Parenting Coordinator can vary but often include assisting parents with decision making around: changes or clarifications of the existing parenting plan; exchanges of the child or children including date, time, place, means of and responsibilities for transportation; education or daycare including school choice, tutoring, summer school, before and after school care, participation in special education testing and programs, or other educational decisions; enrichment and extracurricular activities including camps and jobs; the c...