UPDATE:  Chief Justice John D. Casey sends an  Open letter regarding co-parenting during COVID-19: "It is times like this, when society faces threats once thought unimaginable, that the rule of law is more important than ever... Parenting orders are not stayed during this period of time. In fact, it is important that children spend time with both of their parents and that each parent have the opportunity to engage in family activities, where provided for by court order. In cases where a parent must self-quarantine or is otherwise restricted from having contact with others, both parents should cooperate to allow for parenting time by video conference or telephone." Additional resources have become available during this crisis, please scroll to the bottom of this post for more resources. Co-Parenting in a Crisis: COVID-19 and Beyond by  Jennifer Hawthorne Mediators and collaborative professionals work with parents to create a realistic and practical parenting p...

When drafting a parenting plan for separated parents of minor children, there are some basic things that should be in every plan.  These include answering the following questions: Who has decision making responsibility (also known as legal custody)? Who has residential responsibility and when? In other words, design a base parenting schedule (also known as physical custody). When can the base schedule be changed? For example including a holiday and vacation schedule. Are there any necessary agreements around communication? Are there any limitations or notification requirements related to travel with the children? How and when can the schedule be changed? What other events require notification (such as illness of a child)? What is your plan for dealing with disagreements? Some parenting plans keep these terms relatively simple and leave a lot of room for flexibility between the parents.  There are pros and cons to any choice when drafting an agreement, and a flexi...

Today, May 18, 2018, the court announced at the MCLE Family Law Conference that a new child support guidelines worksheet will be effective as of June 15, 2018.  The new worksheet is available here .  While the base Guidelines themselves have not changed, the language will be updated to reflect the changes to the worksheet (the new guidelines are expected to be released on May 22, 2018). The updates to the worksheet solves a few issues that arose from the use of the original worksheet.   There have been a lot of changes to support, both spousal and child support, in the last few months. While everyone is still picking over exactly what the  implications of the new Tax Cuts and Jobs Act are for alimony , we wanted to take time to review the current situation under the 2017 Child Support Guidelines.  Divorcing parties and practitioners alike should be mindful of these issues, even though a new form has been issued, because any cases for which child su...

Guest Post by Tony Pelusi * Well it has finally come to be; earlier this month the Massachusetts Probate and Family Court issued Standing Order 1-1 7 setting forth the qualifications, standards of practice, and scope of authority for Massachusetts Parenting Coordinators (PC).  For the first time in the history of the Commonwealth this rule informs clients, attorneys, and judges what is necessary to avail themselves of the multitude of benefits of the PC process provides. Those who wish to access the full text of rule directly may click here .  What follows is a summary of the salient provisions for practitioners and parents. First, Qualifications & Training: For starters, a PC must be a licensed, experienced, and specially trained lawyer or mental health professional.   To qualify for appointment as a PC individuals must apply to the Court and be approved, demonstrating that they have completed at least 30 hours of mediation training,  6 hours of trai...

It is our hope that all families find a way to resolve conflict peacefully.  This is especially true when children are involved.  Divorced or separated parenting has many complications and the first is just deciding how to share time with a child from two separate households.  Developing a schedule can result in a lot of tension, especially if parents have trouble picturing how this new schedule will interact with their work schedules and the schedules of their children. To help make this easier, we've created an online tool for creating parenting plans that is simple and easy to use: We encourage parents, regardless of the process they are using to divorce, to use this form to assist in evaluating and settling custody disputes. The form allows you to choose between the Model Parenting Plan proposals or customize your parenting plan over a four week period by clicking directly on the form.  When you click on a section of the calendar it switches between ...

A number of recent appellate decisions in Massachusetts have addressed the boundaries of what Probate and Family Court trial judges have the power to do.  Agreements reached between the parties, however, can include provisions that the judges don't otherwise have the authority to order.   In this four part blog series we will explore some of the important areas that an Agreement can address but the trial court is limited in addressing.  These are just some of  the most recent examples, and not intended to be an exhaustive list of all the ways that Agreements are better than  letting a Judge decide your fate . Part 4:  Parent Coordinator:  Do you want help resolving parenting disputes without returning to court? In Part 1 , we discussed how the Appeals Court in Ventrice overturned a lower court's order that required parties to engage in out-of-court mediation prior to filing any further action in the Probate and Family Court.   While Parent...

Snow days are one of the most exciting events when you're a child, especially if it means a reprieve from an upcoming test or homework due date.  But for parents, snow days are a significant inconvenience including last-minute schedule changes and all the fun involved in snow removal.  In addition, many employers will expect you to "work from home" but that is easier said than done when you have young children (as I write this I'm being asked by a three year-old why she can't have candy for breakfast). As with many issues separated parenting exacerbates many of these inconveniences.  For separated parents, a snow day means additional questions such as which parent is in charge and who is responsible for snow removal at a shared property.   For parents who have chosen litigation to resolve their divorce, these disagreements could mean additional attorney's fees or court dates.  By contrast, all of these challenges are minimized when parents work together, a...

When parents are considering the D-word, they may have many fears, concerns and questions:  How will I afford a divorce?   How often will I see my children?   Where will I live?  Will the divorce hurt my children?   For most parents this last question can be so concerning that it causes them to put off their divorce.  Even when a divorce is inevitable parents are often paralyzed by their fear of how the divorce may impact their children, especially when the children are young.  This fear is warranted because many parents significantly damage their children's mental health by how they divorce and how they manage their relationship after the divorce. A recent thread on Reddit highlighted the question:   Reddit Children of Divorce, what was the biggest thing you learned from your parents split and how did you end up? Many of the responses are both heartbreaking and insightful: Excerpt from  AskReddit Split, a recent film, also explore...

"I think a plan is just a list of things that don’t happen.” – Parker in The Way of the Gun Often when negotiating a parenting plan with clients, I point out that the actual written plan doesn’t dictate what happens.  It’s just a piece of paper.  Even when the court enforces the agreement that process takes time, effort, evidence, follow-up, and more time.  When both parents agree to guidelines for co-parenting that make sense to both of them, then they are more likely to end up with an actual plan that everyone buys into.   When parents can’t agree the result is typically a Judgment or Divorce Agreement that results in more litigation in the form of Modification actions, Contempt actions and Appeals. One such case was recently remanded to the trial court by the Massachusetts Appeals Court on a 1:28 decision.  The case involved a Complaint for Modification, Cross-Complaints for Contempt and Cross-Appeals.   While the issues being appealed are numerous, ...

Summer is finally here.  The air is humid, the sunblock is out, and it's finally time for vacations and school break.  But enjoying summer too much has its consequences.  Our  Summer Lovin'  series is about those consequences for Unmarried Parents in Massachusetts: Summer Lovin' Series #9: What happens if I want full custody of a child born out of wedlock? Unmarried mothers in Massachusetts are presumed to be the sole legal and physical custodian of a child without going to court.  If the father requests it, the court can order that either party have sole legal or physical custody or that the parties share legal or physical custody depending on your specific circumstances. However, "full custody" is somewhat of a myth, because unless the other parent is unfit they will still be involved in the child's life to some extent. While sole legal custody allows one parent to make major decisions, sole physical custody does not mean the child is alw...

Summer is finally here.  The air is humid, the sunblock is out, and it's finally time for vacations and school break.  But enjoying summer too much has its consequences.  Our  Summer Lovin'  series is about those consequences for Unmarried Parents in Massachusetts: Summer Lovin' Series #3: How do Unmarried Parents work out Custody and a Parenting Plan? Children of unmarried parents are by default in the custody of their mother. Parents can agree to share custody or arrange for visitation through collaborative negotiation or mediation when appropriate. If they can't agree then the court can create a parenting plan with the filing of a Complaint for Custody and Visitation. A Parenting Plan is a comprehensive agreement which sets out both the time that children will spend with each parent as well as the rights and obligations of each parent to the children and the other parent during their parenting time. It can include a holiday visitation schedu...

Summer is finally here.  The air is humid, the sunblock is out, and it's finally time for vacations and school break.  But enjoying summer too much has its consequences.  Our Summer Lovin' series is about those consequences for Unmarried Parents in Massachusetts: Summer Lovin' Series #1: Unmarried Parents with a Baby on the Way! Unmarried parents who are separated can still plan for the baby's arrival together.  This planning should include how to pay for the expenses of the pregnancy and birth, and how to pay for the expenses of the child once he or she arrives.  In addition, for parents who are living apart, they should begin to consider a reasonable parenting plan for when the baby arrives. A Parenting Plan is a comprehensive agreement which sets out both the time that children will spend with each parent as well as the rights and obligations of each parent to the children and the other parent during their parenting time. It can include a holiday...

In a recent Supreme Court decision,  Moreno vs. Naranjo , SJC-11070 (2013)  , the SJC dismissed an appeal as moot for a 209A order that had expired, but addressed the underlying issue anyway in order to provide guidance to District Court judges.  In  Moreno  the District Court judge had considered the impact of the order on visitation and had ordered a 6 month order instead of 1 year because of the likely impact of the order on the relationship between the defendant and the child.  The SJC indicated that this consideration was improper. In deciding the length of an order, the only consideration should be the "time reasonably necessary to protect from abuse the plaintiff or any child in the plaintiff's care or custody."   This doesn't mean that an order can't include provisions for visitation, but only that the impact the order has on visitation shouldn't affect the choice to issue the order or for how long.  That choice is dependent solely on ...

Most parenting plans drafted by experienced practitioners will include language along the following lines: "Nothing contained in this Agreement shall preclude both parents from jointly and voluntarily modifying the above-described co-parenting schedule or from reaching agreements for the co-parenting of the children by the parents that are not in conformity with the foregoing co-parenting schedule provided that such modifications and agreements be reduced to a writing in advance and be signed and/or otherwise (e-mail) confirmed and/or otherwise ratified by both Parties. Either parent may request a modification of the foregoing parenting schedule from the other parent. Any modification of the parenting schedule shall be requested reasonably in advance, except in emergency situations. The Parties shall take into consideration the best interests of the children when discussing exceptions to the parenting schedule." This language is intended to encourage parents to discuss ...

My oldest daughter and I have found a TV show that we both can agree on: Disney's Phineas and Ferb  (new episodes Fridays on Disney Channel, and available on Netflix Instant Watch).  The basic plot of the show is that two boys, Phineas and Ferb, create an unbelievable invention in each episode and have an adventure, while their older sister, Candace, tries to catch them in the act of doing something dangerous.  There is a side plot in most episodes involving their pet platypus, Perry, who also happens to be a secret agent foiling the plot of Dr. Doofenshmirtz, an inept evil scientist. Dr. Doofenshmirtz (as seen in Phineas and Ferb ) The reason the show also appeals to adults is that the characters are well rounded and experience everyday situations in addition to the incredible plot adventures.  In the episode I Scream, You Scream , for instance, we find out that Dr. Doofenshmirtz has an ex-wife, Charlene Doofenshmirtz, and a daughter, Vanessa Doofenshmirtz. ...

I once overheard an older relative ask one of my cousins if her husband was babysitting their children.  Since my cousin didn't have the children with her, the older relative was simply asking if the children were with their father.  But my cousin heard it differently.  She answered that he was their father and didn't "babysit", he "parented" their children. For those who grew up at at time when Ward Cleaver was the typical father figure, only entering the picture to discipline the children or throw a ball with them, if a father is taking care of the children while mom is out that is unusual.  But the newest generation of parents grew up with the hands-on parenting of Dr. Huxtable and Danny Tanner .  To what extent TV is just reflecting the change in societal norms or affecting them is beyond the scope of this post.  But clearly there has been a shift regarding how involved the average father is in the everyday parenting responsibilities. If the ...