When drafting a parenting plan for separated parents of minor children, there are some basic things that should be in every plan.  These include answering the following questions: Who has decision making responsibility (also known as legal custody)? Who has residential responsibility and when? In other words, design a base parenting schedule (also known as physical custody). When can the base schedule be changed? For example including a holiday and vacation schedule. Are there any necessary agreements around communication? Are there any limitations or notification requirements related to travel with the children? How and when can the schedule be changed? What other events require notification (such as illness of a child)? What is your plan for dealing with disagreements? Some parenting plans keep these terms relatively simple and leave a lot of room for flexibility between the parents.  There are pros and cons to any choice when drafting an agreement, and a flexi...

This is the first article in our series on Divorce Agreement drafting. For a list of the upcoming articles scroll to the bottom of this post.  If you want to jump right to our useful resources try these links: Download a free Agreement Checklist Download a free Memorandum of Understanding Buy a Divorce Agreement Template We hope you find these resources useful.  While our focus is on Massachusetts agreements, many of these tips will apply in other states as well.  Keep reading to learn more: What is the difference between a Memorandum of Understanding and a Divorce Agreement? To settle a divorce case in Massachusetts, the Probate and Family Court requires that the spouses file an agreement resolving all terms related to dissolving their marriage.  This is typically called a Divorce Agreement or Separation Agreement.  It is a public document that the judge must review and approve for a divorce to be finalized in Massachusetts. To be approved, ...

Today is the third Thursday of October, which also happens to be Conflict Resolution Day.  While that may not seem as fun as International Pancake Day , Conflict Resolution Day is an opportunity to think about the challenges we face in our lives, and wonder: Is there a better way to think about conflict;  a model which can free us from our fear of conflict? Conflict is a part of everyday life.  In our individual struggles to survive, grow, connect, and control the world around us, we often find that someone or something is in our way or making it harder to reach our goals.  It is a natural, animal instinct to envision these conflicts as a simple dichotomy: me v. you, us v. them, plaintiff v. defendant, the hero v. the villain, etc.  We see conflict most simply as a tug of war between two positions, two competing interests.  But what if we're thinking about conflict all wrong. If I win, you lose.  If you win, I lose. Picturing conflict ...

One of the principles of collaborative law is a team approach to joint problem solving.  The team approach to joint problem solving has numerous advantages: We're smarter together: each team member brings a different background and expertise to the team.  As the saying goes, a jack of all trades is a master of none.  On a team, each person can be a master of their trade and rely on others for the knowledge they can't individually maintain.  In addition, as humans, professional team members sometimes make mistakes.  When we are open to feedback from other professionals, there is a greater chance that mistakes are minimized and corrected, ultimately offering a better service or product to the clients. We're better together : each team member brings different experiences to problem solving.  Our experiences shape our ability to empathize and be creative in problem solving.  Having different experiences at the table increases the likelihood of spo...

There are a number of questions that must be answered when dividing a retirement account in a divorce.  Divorcing couples are often focused specifically on the amount or percentage of the account funds that they are dividing.  It is also important, though, to identify the date of that division, and whether investment changes are included or not.  This information is necessary because dividing a retirement account is not as immediate as dividing a liquid asset. Dividing a retirement account in divorce requires a special court order (usually called a Qualified Domestic Relations Order or QDRO) .  The process of obtaining and implementing one of these orders is not immediate, and requires approval by both the court and the plan's administrator.  During this time, the account will change value.  Accounts change in value due to market fluctuations, but also due to withdrawals, loans, and ongoing contributions.  All of these changes can create havoc wit...

Use "and" instead of "but" .  It's a simple change that in conversation and writing can mean a world of difference.  That difference is inherent in how we hear and read the word "but".  "But" has a negating connotation, implying that everything that came before it isn't true. I think this is a valuable lesson, but it's not revolutionary.   I think this is a valuable lesson, and  it's not revolutionary. Which one of those sentences gives you the impression I think both things are true (which I in fact do believe)?  Obviously the "and" changes the way we read that sentence.  In fact, you only have to search google for the phrase  "and instead of but"  to see that many people have shared this idea before me.  It's not revolutionary, and it remains a valuable lesson, especially for mediators and negotiators. Frankie, a contributor on Medium, highlighted  that the importance of making this cha...

Some Judges have long recognized the need for what Frank Sander called the "multi-door courthouse," a place where people in a dispute can find multiple ways of resolving that dispute, not just litigation. In a concurring opinion in the Cooper v. Keto case, Massachusetts Appeals Justice Brown pointed out that "Litigation should be the last option, not the first."   He also quoted a retired Judge's article in the Boston Bar Journal lamenting whether lawyers were adequately addressing this issue: "'technical competence' of lawyers to litigate is greater today than ever, but lawyers often 'fail to consider whether doing it is useful'." The good news is that many courts, especially family courts, are starting to recognize this need, and there are a more and more pilot programs taking place that provide opportunities for families to find alternative ways to resolve their conflict.  In Massachusetts, there is a program in the Hampshire ...