I recently told a room of potential referral sources an easy way to remember me as a resource for their clients. I didn't tell them that they should remember me for being a mediator. I didn't tell them that they should remember me because I'm a family law lawyer or a divorce lawyer. That doesn't matter to referral sources or clients in today's world because it's not memorable, and it's not unique or interesting.  There are a lot of mediators and divorce lawyers, and many of them are great, and many of them have more experience than I do. Instead I said: Call me when when your friend changes their Facebook status to "It's Complicated" The message contained in this request is not that I am a lawyer or a mediator, so you should hire me.  The message is that I help people when things get complicated.  The message is about the potential client, not about me, or my skills.  It's about what they are going through.   (also the refere...

The latest crazy Facebook Divorce story is just another reminder of how the internet age has changed divorces. It is also a subject that we have written about many times here. So we thought a simple list of Do's and Don'ts might be helpful to summarize our advice on getting through a divorce in the era of facebook, twitter and google. If you or someone you know is getting divorced please consider the consequences of how you lead your online life, and follow these simple rules. 1. DO Get a new e-mail address. Gmail, Live, Yahoo and many others offer free e-mail addresses. You shouldn't use work e-mail for communications related to your divorce case or they might not be considered privileged, and your personal e-mails may be compromised by your ex. 2. DO Change your Passwords (E-mail, Voicemail, Bank Accounts, Facebook, Twitter, etc.). Your ex can probably guess most of your passwords, and that's assuming they aren't saved in your internet history on your o...

Facebook, Twitter, Flickr, Myspace, and Google have changed how we live and connect socially in many ways, and these changes extend to how we break up as well. Even if you're not a member of Second Life, you likely have a second online life made up of your Facebook posts pictures and tags. So what happens when you get divorced? When do you change your relationship status? What do you do with tagged pictures of both of you? Do you unfriend your ex? All of these questions and more were explored in a recent Gizmodo article: How to Survive the Modern Day Breakup. The basic takeaway point from the article is that you should use the same common sense prudence in your online life that you should use in your offline life. For example, you wouldn't throw away family pictures just because you're getting divorced, but you might put them away in storage for a while. Similarly, you might want to remove your online pictures and save them on a hard drive, CD or DVD that you ke...

It seems like every day I read another article about how Facebook is Becoming a Prime Source for Divorce Case Evidence . Anyone who isn't aware of the risks by now is just not paying attention. But there does still seem to be a great amount of confusion over how private you can really make your Facebook page. While you are free to adjust your privacy settings any way you want, a chain is only as strong as its weakest link. Any one of your "friends" can share any information that they can see. To think of it another way: consider whether the post you are about to make is something you would be okay with every one of your "friends" repeating out loud to one other person they know (as in "look what Justin just posted!"). Chances are somewhere in that chain is your mother, grandmother, ex, or even a potential employer. Of course, doing this every time you post may make you wonder, why am I even on facebook if it's going to be this hard? Well...

At Kelsey & Trask, P.C. we recognize that the state-of-the-art technology affects not just the positive aspects of our lives but also the negative. For example, constant access to e-mail, facebook, twitter and similar services provides us with both ways to connect and ways to be distracted (as described further in this NPR article about cell phones interfering with marriages ). It is important therefore to make effective use of technology to help you in your divorce case and also to recognize how the use of technology could hurt your case. These new technologies can also be used to help us learn more about the statistics of divorce (as described in this article about the break-up trends displayed in Facebook posts ). Below you can find some resources on our blog and website that deal with both the positive and negative impact of technology on divorce. We have written many times on this site about the many ways in which Facebook, Twitter and other social networking sites are...

Following up on an earlier blog post discussing how contact through social networking websites, such as Facebook, may be an arrestable offense when there is an existing restraining order in effect, threats posted on social networking websites may also give rise to the issuing of a restraining order. In Arizona, an argument between two college students was escalated when one of the students wrote on his Twitter account that he would "not hesitate to punch [the other student] in the face if I saw him . . . Just sayin." The other student then obtained a restraining order because of the "tweet." Regardless of whether the "tweet" was a legitimate threat, it is important to realize that writing something of that nature on a social networking website makes it possible that the individual to whom you are referring might read it, and might take it seriously. Be smart. Don't take your arguments to the internet. You are just documenting the "he-said...

Two weeks ago, a Florida man was arrested for logging on to his Facebook account and requesting that his estranged wife list him as a "friend" on the popular social networking website, Facebook. Of course, ordinarily requesting that someone be your "friend" on Facebook is not an arrestable offense, but it may be if it is in violation of a restraining order. While it is important to realize that the actual act of requesting that someone be your Facebook "friend" may seem completely innocuous, a judge may have little patience for it if there is an outstanding restraining order between the two individuals. If you are a party on either side of a restraining order, contact online, such as a friend request, instant message, email, or otherwise, is considered to be contact which may violate "no contact" provisions of most restraining orders.

As this news video from CNN describes more and more people are blaming Facebook, Twitter, MySpace and other social networking sites for their divorces. Although I would argue that these sites are simply an outlet for feelings that would otherwise have surfaced in another form, there is still a lesson to be learned here. Assume that anything you write on the internet (whether on a "private" page or not) is going to be seen by everyone. It is not only discoverable (in the legal sense) but likely to be discovered or passed along or shared by family, friends, or other acquaintances.

We often warn our divorce clients that e-mails they send to their soon to be ex-spouses WILL show up in court. This is because it's almost impossible for two parties involved in an emotional dispute to write correspondence without overtones of disappointment, hurt or anger showing through in tone. This is even more likely in informal correspondence like e-mail. The same is true for texts, especially now that texts are beginning to replace phone calls as the preferred method of quick short communications. According to this Huffington Post article, "Americans punched out more than 110 billion text messages in December 2008." There are also significant domestic violence implications with text messaging. For instance, text messages are considered a communication and a violation of a restraining order, even if the victim sent a text message first a reply could result in an arrest and charge of violating a restraining order. In addition, texts can be another way for abuse...