One of the more common comments I hear when I tell people that I'm a mediator is "It sounds great, but it wouldn't have worked for me."  When mediation has been shown to be about 85% successful in most studies, why do so many people assume it won't work for their conflict?  The answer is that many people believe that difficult conflicts can only be resolved through compromise; by at least one side giving up something and admitting at least a partial defeat.  When the stakes are high enough, people believe you can only reach agreement or resolution by beating the other side or giving in.  Sure, if you're getting along and you mostly agree then talking it out can work, but if not you may as well prepare for war.  And wars always have clear winners and losers, right? The power of mediation and collaborative law is how trained professionals help people find answers  when they're NOT getting along. In actual practice, mediators and collaborati...

Today is the third Thursday of October, which also happens to be Conflict Resolution Day.  While that may not seem as fun as International Pancake Day , Conflict Resolution Day is an opportunity to think about the challenges we face in our lives, and wonder: Is there a better way to think about conflict;  a model which can free us from our fear of conflict? Conflict is a part of everyday life.  In our individual struggles to survive, grow, connect, and control the world around us, we often find that someone or something is in our way or making it harder to reach our goals.  It is a natural, animal instinct to envision these conflicts as a simple dichotomy: me v. you, us v. them, plaintiff v. defendant, the hero v. the villain, etc.  We see conflict most simply as a tug of war between two positions, two competing interests.  But what if we're thinking about conflict all wrong. If I win, you lose.  If you win, I lose. Picturing conflict ...