Skip to main content

What does a Child Specialist do in a Collaborative Divorce?

Image
By
Guest Post Introduction: Dr. Allison J. Bell, Psy.D. has been in private practice in Westchester County, N.Y. since 1987 and is specialty-trained in child-psychology, neuropsychological evaluation of children and marital therapy. For the past fifteen years, Dr. Bell has performed forensic custody evaluation in both Family and Supreme Courts in the southern New York State region. Dr. Bell serves as both a Divorce Coach and a neutral Child Specialist on Interdisciplinary practice teams and is a member of the Massachusetts Collaborative Law Council. Dr. Bell wrote the following guest post for us regarding:

THE CHILD SPECIALIST IN COLLABORATIVE DIVORCE
By Allison J. Bell, PsyD.

The Collaborative Divorce process is unique amongst methods of obtaining a divorce in that it offers the opportunity for children to express their needs and viewpoints to their parents, through a professional conduit, the Child Specialist.

Who is a Child Specialist, what does that person do, and why is it beneficial to families to have a Child Specialist as part of the Collaborative Divorce Team?

Child Specialists are licensed mental health professionals who are trained in mediation and collaborative divorce practice. They are practitioners who also have training and experience in child development, family systems and divorce counseling.

The Child Specialist is often brought into the process when issues surface regarding the development of a Parenting Plan, and when parents want to know more about how their children are faring during the process. Ideally, when attorneys know that there will be problems to be solved regarding children, the Child Specialist is part of the Team from the outset.

Divorce is a phenomenon that occurs in relationships between adults. Children bear the fallout of divorce, and often find themselves placed squarely in the center of their parents’ disputes. They may be totally blindsided by the announcement of divorce, or may have expected it all along, but either way, they have something to say about it.

The outcome research on the adjustment of children of divorce strongly suggests that children believe they are not heard, seen or considered adequately in their parents’ process. They specifically tell researchers that they suffer from being in the dark, from having too little meaningful information, and from being unable to have a voice about the outcome. It is not that they see themselves as equal decision makers; they don’t. Children simply want parents to acknowledge that the adult decision to divorce has a direct, long-term impact on kids.

The Child Specialist functions as a Neutral member of a Collaborative Divorce Team, consulting to both the parents and the team members. The Child Specialist is the only team member who sees everyone in the family, and therefore has the unique opportunity to shed light on that family’s particular dynamics.

The Child Specialist begins by meeting with both parents in order to learn about the children, from a neutral perspective. The Child Specialist then meets with the children, together and individually, and offers them an opportunity to express their needs and concerns about the divorce. These meetings also help the children learn more about the divorce process and create a safe space for their emotional experience. It helps them to recognize when/if they are being put in the middle, and may offer them tools to be able to extricate themselves from this position.

The Child Specialist provides feedback to the parents in a five-way meeting with the Coach present. This way, the parents and the Coach hear the same information and have an opportunity to ask questions that may be relevant to developing the Parenting Plan. If children are in distress, the Child Specialist may make referrals for treatment or evaluation as needed. The Child Specialist’s perspective can help alleviate conflicts pertaining to the children, and allows the parents to consider post-divorce parenting with the voices of their children center-stage.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

What is the purpose of the Divorce Nisi waiting period?

By
In Massachusetts the statutory waiting period after a Judgment of Divorce and before the divorce becomes final (or absolute) is called the Nisi period. After a divorce case settles or goes to trial, a Judgment of Divorce Nisi will issue and it will become Absolute after a further ninety (90) days. This waiting period serves the purpose of allowing parties to change their mind before the divorce becomes final. If the Judgment of Divorce Nisi has issued but not become final yet, and you and your spouse decide you don't want to get divorced, then you can file a Motion to Dismiss and the Judgment will be undone. Although many of my clients who are getting divorced think the idea of getting back together with their ex sounds crazy, I have had cases where this happened. In addition to offering a grace period to change your mind, the Nisi period has three other legal effects: 1. The most obvious effect of the waiting period is that you cannot remarry during the Nisi period, be...
76 comments
Read more

2024 U.S. Presidential Party Platforms - What are the policy positions that could affect families?

By
While the laws that affect family formation, marriage and divorce are often made at the state level, there are also many policies and laws at the federal level that affect families and children.  Just some examples from recent years that have impacted families in my mediation practice include changes to the federal tax laws (such as  the elimination of the alimony tax deduction ) and U.S. Supreme Court rulings on same sex marriage and reproductive health rights.  In just over a month, the United States presidential election will have a significant impact on these federal policies going forward, and could choose the next appointments to the U.S. Supreme Court as well. In 2016 and 2020 we shared what each presidential platform said about families and policy regarding family formation and dissolution, and below we'll provide you an update on the 2024 presidential platforms.  As Maya Angelou said, "When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time."...
1 comment
Read more

Updating your Divorce Agreement Template - More Lessons from Cavanagh v. Cavanagh

By
We recently posted a lengthy review of the the Massachusetts SJC decision in Cavanagh v. Cavanagh (2002)  which included some recommendations for drafting divorce agreements, also typically called Separation Agreements.  The Cavanagh case is best known for it's clarification of how the courts should evaluate support calculations when a case may have both alimony and child support.  However, the case also contained numerous rulings that should make practitioners review their Separation Agreement templates and change some of the ways in which they may have previously drafted certain sections. In this post we'll share actual language from the Gray Jay Endeavors, LLC form Separation Agreement template which addresses each of the issues raised by the Cavanagh decision.  If you are a professional interested in purchasing the full Separation Agreement template, check out Gray Jay's  forms subscription which includes editable Massachusetts court forms and financial st...
Post a Comment
Read more