Photo by  Sam Moqadam on Unsplash Divorce is complicated and one of the challenges is the push and pull between transparency and protecting oneself.  Individuals in a divorce often want to hide information that they are worried will concern their soon-to-be ex-spouse or in some way potentially disadvantage them in court or in a settlement process.  The choice of whether to be transparent about any choice, including the choice to hire a lawyer, has to be weighed against the pros and cons of that decision. As a mediator, I favor erring on the side of transparency.  If you hide something relevant during a negotiation where both spouses are supposed to be able to make informed decisions then you risk the negotiation failing and all future negotiations being conducted without any trust.  In other words, if you want your spouse to be transparent, you have to demonstrate that willingness as well.  This seems more obvious when you're considering keeping relevant information secret, like t