Can I Sleep with my Wife or Husband during our Divorce?

This question was recently posted on Avvo.com and as a regular contributor I answered the question on that site. Since I have received a positive response to my answer I have decided to reprint it here:

Question: What are the rules about husband and wife sleeping together while they are getting a divorce? One of the pair doesn't want the divorce and is willing to work hard to turn things around. Right now there is no hope but I want there to be and am praying for a miracle. (spelling errors corrected)

Answer: There are no court rules or statutes that prevent a husband and wife from sleeping together before, during or after a divorce. In fact, the only law in Massachusetts preventing people from sleeping together is a prohibition on adultery which is not enforced anyway.

However, it could be extremely unhealthy for you to continue to sleep with your spouse if you are hopeful that it will result in a reconciliation but your spouse is adamant that it will not.

In Massachusetts, if only one person in the marriage believes that the marriage is over, then they may file a Complaint for Divorce under Section 1B. Under this no-fault statute if that person is willing to state under oath that they believe the marriage is irretrievably broken down with no chance of reconciliation, then the Judge will grant the divorce and the other party is helpless to stop it once the person's mind is made up.

If there is any chance of saving your marriage, it is most likely to come from marriage counseling and not from "sleeping together". You may also want to consider marital mediation. For more information about reconciliation visit our previous post as well.

Comments

2024 U.S. Presidential Party Platforms - What are the policy positions that could affect families?

While the laws that affect family formation, marriage and divorce are often made at the state level, there are also many policies and laws at the federal level that affect families and children. Just some examples from recent years that have impacted families in my mediation practice include changes to the federal tax laws (such as the elimination of the alimony tax deduction ) and U.S. Supreme Court rulings on same sex marriage and reproductive health rights. In just over a month, the United States presidential election will have a significant impact on these federal policies going forward, and could choose the next appointments to the U.S. Supreme Court as well. In 2016 and 2020 we shared what each presidential platform said about families and policy regarding family formation and dissolution, and below we'll provide you an update on the 2024 presidential platforms. As Maya Angelou said, "When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time."...

Updating your Divorce Agreement Template - More Lessons from Cavanagh v. Cavanagh

We recently posted a lengthy review of the the Massachusetts SJC decision in Cavanagh v. Cavanagh (2002) which included some recommendations for drafting divorce agreements, also typically called Separation Agreements. The Cavanagh case is best known for it's clarification of how the courts should evaluate support calculations when a case may have both alimony and child support. However, the case also contained numerous rulings that should make practitioners review their Separation Agreement templates and change some of the ways in which they may have previously drafted certain sections. In this post we'll share actual language from the Gray Jay Endeavors, LLC form Separation Agreement template which addresses each of the issues raised by the Cavanagh decision. If you are a professional interested in purchasing the full Separation Agreement template, check out Gray Jay's forms subscription which includes editable Massachusetts court forms and financial st...

Co-Parenting Coordinator Agreements - What They Can Do and How to Draft Them

Photo by Marcelo Silva on Unsplash Conflict between parents negatively affects children but for some parents it's hard to avoid conflict when separating or divorcing. Loss, grief, and anger all make it difficult to co-parent and some parents need help overcoming those barriers. One of the professionals that can help parents reduce conflict by assisting them in making the necessary co-parenting decisions is a Co-Parenting Coordinator. The duties of a Co-Parenting Coordinator can vary but often include assisting parents with decision making around: changes or clarifications of the existing parenting plan; exchanges of the child or children including date, time, place, means of and responsibilities for transportation; education or daycare including school choice, tutoring, summer school, before and after school care, participation in special education testing and programs, or other educational decisions; enrichment and extracurricular activities including camps and jobs; the c...

Search This Blog