What do Divorce and the World Cup have in common?

The answer is Goals! But not the goals you're thinking of.

I heard an interesting theory on why the United States will never compete with the top soccer teams in the world on ESPN Radio's The Herd with Colin Cowherd . Colin's theory is that kids in the U.S. have too many other options. The best athletes in the U.S., for the most part, grow up to play football or basketball or baseball. In contrast, the best athletes in other countries all grow up to play soccer.

The United States is an underdog in the World Cup because our best athletes don't play soccer (no offense to Landon Donovan but he's no Lebron James).

What does this have to with Divorce? Well, life is all about priorities and goals. U.S. athletics, parents, and children have not made soccer a priority and so, not surprisingly, we are not as competitive as countries where soccer is king.

A Divorce is also all about goals as well. The things that you choose to focus on and make the most important will be reflected in the outcome of your divorce. Are you focused on making sure that your children will experience the least negative impact possible, or are your focused on how much money you will have after the divorce? Are you focused on whose fault the divorce is, or are you focused on what your life will be like after the divorce?

Although, these types of questions are not legal questions, knowing your priorities can help you decide how your divorce case should proceed. I always ask my clients what their goals are, before I try to tell them what I can do in their divorce case. Because I need to know whether your goals are realistic, and also because your goals could change how I handle your case. If you don't tell your attorney or your mediator what is most important to you, don't be surprised if you are unhappy with the results of your divorce.

Similarly, don't be surprised when a country that makes soccer a priority wins the World Cup.

Comments

What is the purpose of the Divorce Nisi waiting period?

In Massachusetts the statutory waiting period after a Judgment of Divorce and before the divorce becomes final (or absolute) is called the Nisi period. After a divorce case settles or goes to trial, a Judgment of Divorce Nisi will issue and it will become Absolute after a further ninety (90) days. This waiting period serves the purpose of allowing parties to change their mind before the divorce becomes final. If the Judgment of Divorce Nisi has issued but not become final yet, and you and your spouse decide you don't want to get divorced, then you can file a Motion to Dismiss and the Judgment will be undone. Although many of my clients who are getting divorced think the idea of getting back together with their ex sounds crazy, I have had cases where this happened. In addition to offering a grace period to change your mind, the Nisi period has three other legal effects: 1. The most obvious effect of the waiting period is that you cannot remarry during the Nisi period, be...

2024 U.S. Presidential Party Platforms - What are the policy positions that could affect families?

While the laws that affect family formation, marriage and divorce are often made at the state level, there are also many policies and laws at the federal level that affect families and children. Just some examples from recent years that have impacted families in my mediation practice include changes to the federal tax laws (such as the elimination of the alimony tax deduction ) and U.S. Supreme Court rulings on same sex marriage and reproductive health rights. In just over a month, the United States presidential election will have a significant impact on these federal policies going forward, and could choose the next appointments to the U.S. Supreme Court as well. In 2016 and 2020 we shared what each presidential platform said about families and policy regarding family formation and dissolution, and below we'll provide you an update on the 2024 presidential platforms. As Maya Angelou said, "When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time."...

Updating your Divorce Agreement Template - More Lessons from Cavanagh v. Cavanagh

We recently posted a lengthy review of the the Massachusetts SJC decision in Cavanagh v. Cavanagh (2002) which included some recommendations for drafting divorce agreements, also typically called Separation Agreements. The Cavanagh case is best known for it's clarification of how the courts should evaluate support calculations when a case may have both alimony and child support. However, the case also contained numerous rulings that should make practitioners review their Separation Agreement templates and change some of the ways in which they may have previously drafted certain sections. In this post we'll share actual language from the Gray Jay Endeavors, LLC form Separation Agreement template which addresses each of the issues raised by the Cavanagh decision. If you are a professional interested in purchasing the full Separation Agreement template, check out Gray Jay's forms subscription which includes editable Massachusetts court forms and financial st...

Search This Blog