The answer is Goals! But not the goals you're thinking of.
I heard an interesting theory on why the United States will never compete with the top soccer teams in the world on ESPN Radio's The Herd with Colin Cowherd . Colin's theory is that kids in the U.S. have too many other options. The best athletes in the U.S., for the most part, grow up to play football or basketball or baseball. In contrast, the best athletes in other countries all grow up to play soccer.
The United States is an underdog in the World Cup because our best athletes don't play soccer (no offense to Landon Donovan but he's no Lebron James).
What does this have to with Divorce? Well, life is all about priorities and goals. U.S. athletics, parents, and children have not made soccer a priority and so, not surprisingly, we are not as competitive as countries where soccer is king.
A Divorce is also all about goals as well. The things that you choose to focus on and make the most important will be reflected in the outcome of your divorce. Are you focused on making sure that your children will experience the least negative impact possible, or are your focused on how much money you will have after the divorce? Are you focused on whose fault the divorce is, or are you focused on what your life will be like after the divorce?
Although, these types of questions are not legal questions, knowing your priorities can help you decide how your divorce case should proceed. I always ask my clients what their goals are, before I try to tell them what I can do in their divorce case. Because I need to know whether your goals are realistic, and also because your goals could change how I handle your case. If you don't tell your attorney or your mediator what is most important to you, don't be surprised if you are unhappy with the results of your divorce.
Similarly, don't be surprised when a country that makes soccer a priority wins the World Cup.