I was recently invited to collaborate on an expert panel and share some insights on how to prepare for divorce and keep it peaceful. Here is what I added: The experience of a peaceful divorce does not happen by chance or by accident. It is a choice that you make and the good news, even in divorce, is that you have a choice. Here are a few tips to help you choose peace over war when getting divorced: 1. Choose a process, don't let the process choose you. While many people think litigation is the only option in divorce, there are many process options that can be tailored to your family's needs. Mediation, collaborative law, and outside-of-court attorney negotiation are all more flexible options than court. Learn about all the options before you choose one. 2. Preferences before positions. It is a common mistake to jump to conclusions about what you want before you have all the information. Instead of saying "I want the house" or "I think this mu...

Guest Post from Beth Aarons* Massachusetts estate planners enjoyed a collective sigh of relief as the Supreme Judicial Court (SJC) agreed to further appellate review of the Pfannenstiehl’s plight to determine whether the husband’s interest in his family’s trust should be divisible as a marital asset during divorce.  The SJC issued an opinion that such a trust should not be divided as part of the marital property.  [ SJC-12031 ] When the Pfannenstiehls appeared in case law three years ago, the MA Appeals Court had upheld the Probate and Family Court’s determination that the husband’s one-eleventh fractional beneficial interest in his family’s trust balance (there were 11 living beneficiaries at the time) was a marital asset, with 60% of his one-eleventh share to be paid to the wife as part of the property division in their divorce.  The class of trust beneficiaries was open to include any future descendants of the donor, but the lower court used the existing number...

Guest post from Rackham Karlsson. * A man goes to the doctor with chest pain. The doctor finds a small growth next to his heart. The growth can be removed, but it’s a very delicate operation due to the location. The doctor offers the man the choice of two surgeons: Surgeon A is highly specialized. She has extensive experience with this type of surgery and has a tremendous success rate. “However,” the surgeon says, “Because I’ve chosen to focus my work on this type of surgery, there is a chance that we would want to bring in another surgeon if something goes wrong during the procedure. I don’t expect it, but it could happen.” Surgeon B is a generalist, a Swiss Army knife of surgeons. He has some experience with this type of surgery, but it’s not the focus of his practice. “I can handle any situation that comes up during the surgery,” he boasts. “I wouldn’t want you to limit your options and have to change surgeons in the middle of the procedure.” Which surgeon would you choo...

When parents separate or divorce, children are affected in many different ways.  If the parents fail to effectively communicate then children may not be properly prepared for the challenges that teens face in relationships.  The ubiquitous use of cell phones by teenagers has some benefits but also many dangers. Sexting is one of the potential dangers that face all teens, but which teens of divorced and separated parents may be more susceptible to.  Parents should discuss the personal and legal ramifications of sexting with their children and this is just one of many conversations that divorced and separated parents should coordinate so that the information received by the child is consistent. Below is an infographic with some of the information that parents and children should know about sexting and the consequences. Permanent Picture: Teen Sexting (And What Parents Should Do About It) ( via Intella Blog ) Above is an infographic provided by  Intella Blog . ...

The 2016 U.S. Presidential election has many talking points and topics that engender strong reactions.  The significant difference between the various presidential candidates and their platforms explains some of the vehemence with which many defend or attack the 2016 candidates.  Since this blog focuses primarily on the impact of the law on families and family conflict, we will concentrate on only one portion of the presidential platforms: How does each 2016 U.S. Presidential Platform address the American family? These platforms are presented in no particular order and we do not endorse any of the following platform positions.  We are providing them specifically so you can decide for yourselves (and we encourage all eligible voters to vote in the election ): 2016 Republican Party Platform Word Cloud The 2016 Republican Party Platform  mentions the words "family" or "families" 72 times, the words "child" or "children" 50 times, the word...

Valerie Qian Photography by Matthew Raymond In a recent interview with Chief Justice Angela M. Ordoñez, Valerie Qian , of Skylark Law & Mediation , and the Chief Justice discussed the benefits of Limited Assistance Representation ("LAR"): Chief Justice Ordoñez: "one of my goals and objectives in this department is to increase lawyer retention, and we have an enormous amount of unrepresented litigants, and a small percentage of represented litigants. We could close that gap significantly with LAR." In Valerie's article the Chief Justice and retired Justice Hon. Edward M. Ginsburg both noted the lack of public and bar knowledge about LAR and the need to spread the word. "The sad consequence of our ignorance is that by overlooking LAR, attorneys fail to extend our hands to help those who most need it. If there is any vestige of the bright-eyed, bushy-tailed lawyers we were when we emerged from law school ready to change the world, we owe it to...

Guest Post from Jennifer Hawthorne* When contemplating a divorce, one of the first questions most parties to a divorce ask themselves is “how will I support myself during and after the divorce?” Determining how much support can or should be paid by the higher income earner to the lower income earner can often be one of the most contentious issues in a divorce. Both parties often feel like they just will not have enough income to support themselves and their children. This uncertainty can be unsettling.  In many cases trying to find the right balance of support can lead the parties to do a tax analysis that compares the benefits of agreeing to a child support order, an alimony order, or some combination of both, sometimes called unallocated (family) support.  Often times the tax analysis will show that moving away from child support even though there are unemancipated children will leave more money in the hands of both parties. This happens because alimony and unalloc...