Guest Post from Julie Tolek * That magical moment that you have been waiting for has finally happened. Your significant other proposed and YOU SAID YES! Or you proposed and YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER SAID YES! You both have your wedding goggles on and all you can see are hearts and rainbows and as you start to plan the wedding, romance is in the air and the love is palpable. You set the date. Your friends and family then save the date. The flowers have been ordered. The wedding planner is pulling everything together. And then one of you dares utter the “P” word. Prenup. PRENUP. PRE. NUP. The record stops and the world goes silent and time stops and you wonder if you really heard what you thought you heard. PRE Nope.  Or if you are the one who brought it up, you wonder if it’s too late to slur your words so they sound like something else. “Honey, I said we need to CLEAN UP. I can’t BELIEVE you thought I said PRENUP!”  And then you avoid eye contact. Everything...

Post by Julie Tolek * Mediation is often referred to as “facilitated negotiation” or a form of voluntary dispute or conflict resolution. Using these terms to describe mediation automatically brings to mind scenarios where couples are fighting over a problem or situation that has already happened. But what if we turned that process around and reversed it? What if we mediated a plan before something bad happens? Using mediation as a planning tool to help facilitate negotiation and communication before something bad happens can be equally as valuable (and sometimes even more so) than applying mediation to solve a current problem. After something bad happens, emotions are usually raging, parties are sensitive, often angry, and sometimes even vindictive. If you have ever tried to solve a problem (or even have a conversation) with someone who is in a bad mood or having a bad day, you already know it’s like talking to a wall. Now imagine if you try to plan for potential issues befo...

Prenuptial and Postnuptial Agreements can be strong and useful planning tools that help couples plan their lives together.  Just like a properly done estate plan, a prenup can protect a families' most valuable assets and reduce tensions by setting out a simple outline for the future. When prenuptial and postnuptial agreements are created collaboratively families are strengthened because everyone has a voice and buy-in to a clear plan for their family. However, many engaged couples don't hire collaboratively trained attorneys when negotiating a prenup because they haven't heard of collaborative law or they rely on a recommended lawyer without doing any research of their own.  Doing a little research before hiring an attorney is critical because the worst mistake you can make when negotiating a prenup is to hire an attorney who only knows litigation.  Litigation is an adversarial process that encourages people to withhold information unless directly requested.  Lit...

The Appeals Court ruled, in Pisano v. Pisano , on numerous issues involving a bifurcated trial, a prenuptial agreement, temporary alimony and family loans.  The primary issues in the case all could have been prevented by inclusion of clear provisions in the Prenuptial Agreement.  This is not a criticism of the drafters, because in many instances the soon to be married couple don't want to deal with these types of specifics.  However, this case demonstrates the importance of clear and thoughtful decision-making and drafting when creating a Prenuptial Agreement. 1. Trial Judge's determination that the Prenuptial Agreement excludes income derived from separate assets from consideration of alimony - UPHELD. While the prenup did not explicitly say "income from separate assets is excluded from the calculation of alimony" as clearly as it could have, the appeals court upheld this decision finding that the language of the prenup clearly intended to exclude income from s...

According to a recent post by a jeweler that specializes in diamond rings, Brown Diamond Rings may be the next big trend . Upon hearing this, I was immediately reminded of a scene from one of my favorite movies, Beautiful Girls , in which a guy tries to explain to his friends the brown diamond ring he bought for a girl who just broke up with him: Kev: It's a trend in diamonds. Champagne. It's a nice stone. Willie: Yeah, no, I heard about this. It's a new trend in the diamond trade, they're trying to create a new market. Tommy: Oh, right, right. yeah. They were callin' 'em "piss", but they weren't moving any units. What's with you, man? Paul: What? Tommy: Well, how much you pay for this brown rock? Paul: What difference does it make? Tommy: Diamonds are supposed to be colorless! You go out and buy a colored diamond for a girl you're not even seeing, man, you must be eating retard sandwiches again. So, if you're consider...

With the rise in divorce rates over the past fifty years, many couples are approaching marriage with a lot more caution than past generations. Some couples are choosing to enter into agreements that, in the case that their marriage did end in divorce, would specify how to divide the assets between the spouses. These agreements are commonly called "prenuptial agreements," or "prenups," but are also known as antenuptial agreements. In Massachusetts, prenuptial agreements are valid so long as: there is a full and fair disclosure of each individual's assets (you have to tell your soon-to-be spouse about everything that you have and vice-versa); the agreement is considered fair and reasonable both at the time that the agreement is entered into and at the time of the divorce (you can't take everything and leave your spouse financially dependent on the state); and there is no fraud or duress (you can't present a prenuptial agreement to your fiancée righ...