While the Hippocratic Oath is no longer required for doctors, we often hear the principle attributed to that ancient Greek oath for healers to "first, do no harm."  The translation is actually closer to "I will do no harm or injustice to them," but the sentiment is clear.  When trying to help someone, your first obligation is to not make things worse.   Today, I attended the third in a series of public forums held by the Child Support Guidelines Task Force giving people the opportunity to comment on what should change in the 2018 Massachusetts Child Support Guidelines.  What struck me about the testimony is that very few people commented on the guidelines themselves.  Rather they focused on the perceived impact of the guidelines and of the courts on family conflict.  Almost universally, the commenters suggested that changes were needed because the experience in court impoverished families, increased conflict, and hurt children. Whether calling for a ...

I get this question from lawyers a lot who are wondering if a particular training will "certify" them to be mediators. In fact, I just received an inquiry today related to the upcoming 40-hour online mediation training provided by Divorce Mediation Training Associates (more info below): Are Mediators in Massachusetts Certified? What Mediation Training results in a Certification? In Massachusetts there is no government certification or license provided by the Commonwealth certifying mediators. There are some court rules and statutory provisions, however, that require a 30 hour training for certain activities and I believe this is where the misconception about "certification" stems.  The court rules and statutes that require training are: Under the mediator confidentiality statute,  Massachusetts General Laws, Chapter 233, Section 23C , mediators who have taken at least 30 hours of training and meet other requirements, have confidentiality protections in the...

Mediation is a process for resolving disputes with an impartial facilitator. The mediator helps open and improve dialogue between two or more individuals in hopes of finding an acceptable resolution for everyone involved.  There are many advantages to settling disputes through mediation, and we need more mediators in this world to help spread the word. Register for Mediation Training If you're thinking about taking a mediation training here are five reasons you should do it sooner rather than later: 1. Mediation is good for Clients Mediation helps clients because it is typically less expensive and more efficient than litigation, it gives the clients control over their timeline and the outcome, and it is private.  These are all things that clients typically value in resolving a dispute.  When educated about the benefits of mediation, most clients will be open to at least trying mediation before pursuing other options.  The risk is typically low and the pote...

Use "and" instead of "but" .  It's a simple change that in conversation and writing can mean a world of difference.  That difference is inherent in how we hear and read the word "but".  "But" has a negating connotation, implying that everything that came before it isn't true. I think this is a valuable lesson, but it's not revolutionary.   I think this is a valuable lesson, and  it's not revolutionary. Which one of those sentences gives you the impression I think both things are true (which I in fact do believe)?  Obviously the "and" changes the way we read that sentence.  In fact, you only have to search google for the phrase  "and instead of but"  to see that many people have shared this idea before me.  It's not revolutionary, and it remains a valuable lesson, especially for mediators and negotiators. Frankie, a contributor on Medium, highlighted  that the importance of making this cha...

Divorce Mediation Training Associates  has just announced that long-time trainers John Fiske and Diane Neumann will be stepping down and, starting in 2019, Justin Kelsey (of Skylark Law & Mediation, PC ) and Ellen Waldorf (of eWaldorf Mediation ) will be the new training team. Justin has taught with John at the MCLE Family Mediation Workshop for many years, and Ellen has been a part of past DMTA trainings.  Both Ellen and Justin are excited at this opportunity to continue the excellent legacy of DMTA, and carry these trainings into the future. Justin and Ellen will be participating in Diane and John's last DMTA training next month, starting on October 9.  Click here for more information or to register. To read the full press release from DMTA visit here.

It's not unusual to hear a lawyer describe themselves as collaborative.  I've also heard "I haven't taken the Collaborative Law training, but I certainly consider myself collaborative!" But what do they mean by that?  Does it mean they offer collaborative law as an option to their clients, or just that they're willing to start a case in out-of-court negotiations and see where it leads?  Does it mean that they understand the collaborative law principles, or simply that they try to be civil with opposing counsel? Civility and Collaboration are not the same thing.  In fact, many lawyers think of true "collaboration" as a dirty word.  I imagine them picturing the World War II signs labeling French civilians as "collaborators" and shuddering at the thought.  The problem with this mentality, especially in family law, is it means that you are thinking of the opposing party (and their counsel) as the enemy.  You might be civil to an enemy,...

Currently, four of the attorneys at Skylark Law & Mediation are trained in Collaborative Law, an out-of-court dispute resolution process.  The Collaborative Law process may be used to resolve conflict in all types of matters, including family, business, and probate disputes.  The Collaborative Law training is an excellent opportunity to add valuable skills to your conflict resolution toolbox. Justin Kelsey , the owner of Skylark Law & Mediation, PC, will be one of the trainers at the upcoming 2015 Introductory Collaborative Training presented by the Massachusetts Collaborative Law Council. This training meets the standards set forth by the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals (“IACP”), and those completing this training are eligible for membership in the Massachusetts Collaborative Law Council and the IACP.  More importantly, by participating in this training you would immediately become part of a growing, cutting-edge international ...

At Skylark Law & Mediation, PC all of our attorneys and staff are trained mediators.  Even for those who do not mediate, the skills involved in mediation training assist in all forms of conflict resolution and negotiation.  If you are interested in learning more, check out the upcoming Family Law Mediation Workshop 2015 - offered by Massachusetts Continuing Legal Education. Justin Kelsey , the owner of Skylark Law & Mediation, PC and an MCFM Certified Mediator  will be one of the trainers on the first day. For more information or to register click here.

If you follow our posts at all you're probably aware that attorney Justin Kelsey is a Collaboratively trained Divorce attorney and Mediator.  But did you also know that three other attorneys at Kelsey & Trask, P.C. are Collaboratively trained as well? Full time Associate, Valerie Kua , and of counsel   Jonathan Eaton  have both taken the Collaborative Training and regularly use those skills in their family law practice to settle both Collaborative and cooperative cases (if you don't know the difference click here ).  In addition, of counsel to Kelsey & Trask, P.C., Beth Aarons  is a trained Collaborative attorney who practices in both family law and estate planning & probate. At Kelsey & Trask, P.C. we strongly believe that Collaborative Law is the future of dispute settlement, and not just in divorce cases.  For example, if you have an estate planning or probate dispute, you may want to consider Collaboratively trained counsel as well....

There are many reasons that there are currently fewer Collaborative cases than there are mediation and litigation cases.  Just to name a few of the challenges: the process is newer and less well known to the general public; there is still confusion about the cost and benefits of the process; and there aren't as many practitioners trained in the process as there are in mediation (and no additional training is "required" to go to court).  Collaborative Law, like mediation, requires that both parties choose the process.  If one party wants to go to court then the other essentially has no choice.   There are many seminars on informing the reluctant opponent, and about educating other professionals regarding Collaborative Law and hopefully these strategies will help more cases resolve amicably. However, there will always be some cases where one side chooses to hire an attorney who believes litigation is the best route, or at the very least is not willing to be disqual...

Kelsey & Trask's Justin Kelsey will be one of the presenters at the upcoming 2014 Collaborative Law Training: presents an Introduction to Collaborative Law Practice 2014: An Interdisciplinary, Interactive, Step-by-Step Training  to Offer A Better Approach to Conflict Resolution. This is a three day introductory training taking place on September 11, 12 & 13, 2014  which will proceed step-by-step through the collaborative process. The program is designed for social workers, psychologists, and other licensed mental health professionals, financial professionals, family law attorneys and civil law practitioners. This training meets the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals (IACP) standards for trainers and interdisciplinary training. FIND OUT MORE or REGISTER HERE!

Yesterday I attended the Massachusetts Collaborative Law Council's 2014 Advanced Training Forum.  The attendees included lawyers, coach/facilitators, mental health practitioners, financial neutrals and other professionals who help divorcing couples.  There were the usual discussions about finding better ways to help our clients divorce, about finding more clients, and about finding other professionals willing to practice collaboratively.  And there was also singing! There was singing! I'm breaking a vow we all took, just by telling you that there was singing.  But you need to know.  Because this is how Collaborative Practice is different: Collaborative Practice has changed how I see conflict, and that has changed how my clients experience their divorce. I spent the first five years of my career litigating divorce cases in court.  I started out idealistic, wanting to help every client reach their goals and find their peace after the divorce.  I...