Going through a divorce is the second most stressful life event next to the passing of a loved one. When a loved one dies, we have numerous traditions and rituals that ensure that we have support to help us grieve.  In contrast, divorce is too often experienced alone.  While we encourage our divorce clients to seek support of friends, family and therapists, that doesn't work for everyone.  Sometimes friends and family don't understand, and therapy isn't the answer for everyone. When some options don't work, that doesn't necessarily mean that you have to go through your divorce alone.  It is important to realize that other people are experiencing the loss of divorce as well and in some cases sharing that experience can be useful.  Divorce Support Groups are one way to find that support and there are options for both women and men: Divorce Support Groups for Women:  http://oonametz.com/ Divorce Support Groups for Men:  http://cambridgemindbody...

Once in a while we post events on this blog that are organized by other professionals whom we respect.  Below you will find information on a spa weekend for divorcing women, organized by Family Law Attorney Paula H. Noe, and Psychotherapist and Divorce Coach Betsy Ross. It sounds interesting but it leaves me wondering if I can successfully convince my wife that I need to organize a Golf Weekend for Divorcing Men. Even if that never happens, there certainly is some value to finding alternative ways to help both men and women find healthy ways to deal with the stress of divorce and learn how best to manage that stress in the future.  To that end here is the invitation forwarded by Betsy Ross for their program: DIVORCE AND RENEWAL SPA BOOTCAMP WEEKEND FOR WOMEN April 21-22, 2012 Norwich Inn and Spa Norwich, CT See DivorceAndRenewal.com The weekend will provide an opportunity for women who are RECOVERING FROM DIVORCE or STRUGGLING THROUGH DIVORCE o...

A lot of the work that we do is representing individuals as they transition through difficult periods of their lives. Whether in the context of a guardianship, bankruptcy, divorce, child support, or child custody proceeding, the process can often be emotionally taxing. While we do our best to remain aware of therapeutic jurisprudence , our court system often falls short of the needs of individuals struggling to deal with the emotional toll of the process. We often work with individuals who are struggling to cope with the process, and encourage them to seek the support of friends, relatives, and/or a therapist. When it comes to your well-being, leaning on the support of others can assist in navigating a trying legal process. In short, don't be afraid to ask for help with your emotional needs while your attorney helps with your legal needs.

At Kelsey & Trask, we like to tell our clients that we assist them in the process of transitioning from one chapter in their lives to the next. In the context of divorce, this transition for many is emotionally difficult. At times, there is often the urge to lash out at one's soon-to-be former spouse, and many people are drawn to the concept of "winning," or righting a wrong. There are very few pure victories in Probate & Family Court. The nature of the legal process of getting divorced is incomparable to a criminal trial, where a defendant is found guilty or not guilty, or a civil trial, where a defendant is found liable or not liable. I have often explained to clients that "divorce court is not like the television show by the same name." Just because there is a judge does not mean that your worth as a husband or wife will be judged; no "winner" will be announced. The evolution of no-fault divorce was meant in part to prevent having...

NO. That was easy, next blog post... No, you want more than that? Okay: Divorce is by definition about the failure of a plan. You got married, you took vows, and it didn't work out. Whether or not you are about assigning blame (and there is usually enough to go around), divorce is about picking up the pieces of a failure. Accepting that disappointment is as important a step in moving on as accepting that the marriage was over in the first place. If you take that failure personally, you should discuss those feelings with friends, family or a professional therapist. You shouldn't ignore them because you need to find a way to move past them in order to deal with the practical realities of dividing up a marital life. With respect to finances, divorce means dividing up a business partnership, and there is no perfect or ideal way to do this. In Massachusetts, the court can consider numerous factors in how to do this ( M.G.L. c. 208 s34 ), but in practice most cases set...

As I get older I have begun to realize how much of my success is due to the support I receive from my family and friends. Without that support system to help me in the difficult times I wouldn't have had the courage and confidence to take many of the chances in my life that have led me to where I am. This has brought me to realize how important our support systems are and how often we take them for granted. Going through a divorce is often described as the second most stressful event in a person's life (next to the death of a loved one). It is important to find ways to reduce this stress so it doesn't negatively affect other areas of your life. When people experience the death of a loved one, social conventions provide many events and opportunities for family and friends to provide support. But talking about divorce is different. Sometimes people feel uncomfortable talking about their divorce with their friends and family. In addition, sometimes sharing too much a...