tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34777944294267381812024-03-15T21:09:30.641-04:00Skylark BlogRead about mediation, collaborative law, and divorce in Massachusetts, with content from <a href="https://skylarklaw.com">Skylark Law & Mediation PC</a>, <a href="https://grayjayendeavors.com">Gray Jay Endeavors LLC</a>, and <a href="https://dmtatraining.com">Dispute Resolution Training Associates</a>.Kelsey & Trask, P.C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05241677623102829217noreply@blogger.comBlogger554125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3477794429426738181.post-53574592076097400322023-09-22T11:27:00.003-04:002023-09-22T11:30:36.834-04:00Massachusetts Child Support Guidelines News - Minor Update in July 2023<div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><span style="text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEpgOXPCNguHy7pC3L_VZ0gzaw1kJILMS9vMYSHqBCqHdu26Xr5fhGmvOIIIheLn5TYa66RKFK6TfajtWrONaf9wlPoSHjsN04i9b4_pqy7bg8E_qjg8pTjpNKY4Y9mVAyDzy6yEYkVKrCOhAHAlrol4y4u7bZEbJ3PJWylAQZ5vZhOfOej-YHOpoAoJQ/s825/Sample%20MA%20Child%20Support%20Guidelines%202021%20-%208-23-212.png" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="825" data-original-width="638" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEpgOXPCNguHy7pC3L_VZ0gzaw1kJILMS9vMYSHqBCqHdu26Xr5fhGmvOIIIheLn5TYa66RKFK6TfajtWrONaf9wlPoSHjsN04i9b4_pqy7bg8E_qjg8pTjpNKY4Y9mVAyDzy6yEYkVKrCOhAHAlrol4y4u7bZEbJ3PJWylAQZ5vZhOfOej-YHOpoAoJQ/s320/Sample%20MA%20Child%20Support%20Guidelines%202021%20-%208-23-212.png" width="247" /></a></div>On July 20, 2023, the Massachusetts Trial Court announced a change to the Massachusetts Child Support Guidelines, that became effective on July 31, 2023. Typically the guidelines are only revisited every four years (with the next update due in 2025), but in some instances interim updates are necessary. </span></div><p></p><p>In this case, the change was necessary to bring the Massachusetts Child Support Guidelines in conformity with federal standards. Specifically, the child support guidelines have been updated to “[p]rovide that incarceration may not be treated as voluntary unemployment in establishing or modifying child support orders.” 45 C.F.R. § 302.56 (c) (3). These amendments appear in the Preamble and in Section 1. E. 1, which now reads:</p><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;">E. Attribution of Income 1. Income may be attributed where a finding has been made that either parent is capable of working and is unemployed or underemployed. Incarceration may not be treated as voluntary unemployment in establishing or modifying child support orders.</blockquote><p>This is the only change from the 2021 guidelines. The <a href="https://www.mass.gov/law-library/2023-child-support-guidelines">updated 2023 guidelines are available here</a>.</p><p>Obviously this change will only have an effect on cases where a party is incarcerated and won't affect other cases. In addition, this change did not affect the <a href="https://www.mass.gov/info-details/probate-and-family-court-current-child-support-guidelines-worksheet-cjd-304">Worksheet (which is still the 2021 worksheet)</a> </p><p>If you prefer to use <a href="https://grayjayendeavors.com/downloads/2021-massachusetts-child-support-guidelines-worksheet/">an Excel version of the Worksheet</a>, that version (along with an Excel version of the Massachusetts Rule 401 Financial Statements) is available for download with<a href="https://grayjayendeavors.com/massachusetts-forms-subscription/"> a subscription to Gray Jay Endeavors, LLC Massachusetts forms</a>.</p><p><a href="https://blog.skylarklaw.com/2021/08/new-massachusetts-child-support.html">Click here to read more information about the 2021 Child Support Guidelines Revisions</a>. We'll see you again in 2025!</p>Skylark Law & Mediation, PChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06250036288369242533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3477794429426738181.post-52000233562481382112023-03-12T11:32:00.002-04:002023-03-12T11:33:15.334-04:00An Abundantly Awesome Announcement about Jennifer Hawthorne<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEih0aA-cPc3u0tbeTt1WVSlxy5Jug-kOaN8GUtq-NUxYLMykDrQkrkFHjPceIoP4dGwBhgPpQw2K9mH3ZK7vm4F9zU_uvYtJSQ2lcS4mhaofi_AiNonqfUEFs6P-8GscFnrNO3JxLR_g3JebhZ1xrcKDjrW_XoQHYGMwyO6cKUTkaXMRcW6Nr_S-naw/s1244/Jen%20Hawthorne.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1244" data-original-width="1000" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEih0aA-cPc3u0tbeTt1WVSlxy5Jug-kOaN8GUtq-NUxYLMykDrQkrkFHjPceIoP4dGwBhgPpQw2K9mH3ZK7vm4F9zU_uvYtJSQ2lcS4mhaofi_AiNonqfUEFs6P-8GscFnrNO3JxLR_g3JebhZ1xrcKDjrW_XoQHYGMwyO6cKUTkaXMRcW6Nr_S-naw/s320/Jen%20Hawthorne.jpg" width="257" /></a></div>Alliteration aside, we have a lot of exciting news to share about <a href="https://skylarklaw.com/jenniferhawthorne/">Jennifer Hawthorne</a>'s role at Skylark Law & Mediation, PC and her contributions to the field of dispute resolution. <p></p><p>Since August 2016, Jen has been working with Skylark as a mediator and collaborative divorce professional. Her role grew from an of counsel position to full time associate, and in 2022 Jen became a partner at Skylark. Jen's skills as a mediator and her ability to lighten even the toughest conversations have elevated the work at Skylark. Her laugh and the laughter of her clients still carries throughout the office when she has in person meetings.</p><p>For the last year Jen has been overseeing Skylark's student interns from New England law, providing opportunities for future attorneys to truly understand what it means to be a well-rounded dispute resolution professional. She intends to continue this mentorship and find ways in the future to expand on the opportunities available for potential and new mediators with Skylark. </p><p>Jen's contributions to Skylark are only one part of the story, though. As with anything she does, Jen has committed herself jumping in with both feet in to the field of dispute resolution. Jen is on the board of directors of the Massachusetts Council on Family Mediation (MCFM), the Academy of Professional Family Mediators (APFM), and the Massachusetts Collaborative Law Council (MCLC). Her work at those organization has led her to rise to being the Vice President of both APFM and MCLC at the same time, and she continues to devote herself to the success of those organizations and their members.</p><p>In Jen's own words (<a href="https://apfmnet.org/apfm-officers-board/jennifer-hawthorne-interview/">in an interview for APFM</a>), she often thinks of herself as a mediator first, and an attorney second: </p><p></p><blockquote>I believe it is fundamental that folks remain in control of their family to the largest extent possible, and that becoming good co-parents means learning how to break the negative patterns of communication that can often exist at the end of a marriage. I focus my practice on helping my clients see the possibility of a very livable path for themselves and their children after divorce, and empower them to make decisions consistent with that path.</blockquote><p></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://mendingfences.buzzsprout.com/" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="536" data-original-width="536" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCXiioB9-F5enyzLVUv5zkQvlsg_5NKjpK_7ydKAl90Q8IGMCiY7sZ7UQK0aTqD3nxoZ1_jMFE4veW6w7tG9mUTcOi5Qcyk0AD3jPx_SEHpqSVZms3ZpSimTKu39p_jV4hvnflQyaL2nt5yFyyu6Y-U1e0cXb4qh4an8VxoYVIUFnyNxPoW7fDHggE/w200-h200/Mending%20Fences%20Banner.webp" width="200" /></a></div>You can hear more about Jen's approach to mediation and collaborative law directly from a podcast she and Patrice Brymner (the past president of MCLC) host together called <a href="https://mendingfences.buzzsprout.com/">Mending Fences</a>. <div><br /></div><div>On that podcast they have discussed some of the basics of mediation and collaborative law, like <a href="https://mendingfences.buzzsprout.com/1929587/12130675-mediation-what-to-know-before-you-get-started">what to know before you get started</a>. They've also explored deeper dives into more complicated issues, often bringing in distinguished guests to discuss topics like <a href="https://mendingfences.buzzsprout.com/1929587/11326042-guest-sheila-kelly-on-dignity-kids-and-conflict">dignity in co-parenting and conflict</a>, <a href="https://mendingfences.buzzsprout.com/1929587/11352539-guest-david-hoffman-on-virtual-practice-and-internal-family-systems">internal family systems</a> and <a href="https://mendingfences.buzzsprout.com/1929587/11000374-guest-brendan-mahan-on-adhd-and-conflict">ADHD and conflict</a>. <p></p><p>You can support Jen and Patrice in this work by subscribing to their podcast on whatever platform you use (<a href="https://mendingfences.buzzsprout.com/">they're all linked here</a>), and stay tuned to hear more about what Jen will be doing next. Whether it's planning the MCLC educational Roundtable, volunteering at her daughter's next play, or helping a client get through a tough week; whatever it is, we know for sure she will give it her all and it will be amazing!</p></div>Skylark Law & Mediation, PChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06250036288369242533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3477794429426738181.post-41925193093370229632022-01-25T23:30:00.001-05:002022-01-25T23:30:54.138-05:00Test Negative & Stay Positive! Checking in on the Influence a Global Pandemic has on Divorce Mediation and the Mediators Themselves<p></p><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjSgQix6wFEe5w4p0FM6-dx8f9NjUbC40bS57a6gHu6OSGOkJ7S7FR77VjQi2frW_Jkb4pJnL94iMFUAxMNTO-P7XSO8Hpa6lVJZFIg6Hm-wuWJRzCNp8kRlGzYrcLBn4BOg3Zy8jpKPSUb2b-cfLLDZb1H-DX7H9BB0EDqY7pT7eFPj0GVrZa1MCCz=s400" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="206" data-original-width="400" height="165" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjSgQix6wFEe5w4p0FM6-dx8f9NjUbC40bS57a6gHu6OSGOkJ7S7FR77VjQi2frW_Jkb4pJnL94iMFUAxMNTO-P7XSO8Hpa6lVJZFIg6Hm-wuWJRzCNp8kRlGzYrcLBn4BOg3Zy8jpKPSUb2b-cfLLDZb1H-DX7H9BB0EDqY7pT7eFPj0GVrZa1MCCz=s320" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Photo by <a href="https://unsplash.com/@maximeutopix?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText">Maxime</a> on <a href="https://unsplash.com/s/photos/covid?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText">Unsplash</a></span></td></tr></tbody></table>Almost two years has passed since we wrote our first blog post about the havoc COVID-19 was causing in parenting plans (<a href="https://blog.skylarklaw.com/2020/03/co-parenting-in-crisis-covid-19-and.html">Co-Parenting in a Crisis: COVID-19 and Beyond</a>). Little did we know how long this crisis would persist and all the things that it would change. We continue to contemplate how long we'll wear masks in public and whether we'll ever shake hands regularly again, and yet life goes on. People get married and divorced, and they still need help figuring out how to navigate family conflict. <p></p><p>As we continue to help people with these major life decisions, we've noticed some of the potentially long-lasting effects of the pandemic. Below is a list of what we've seen change about our practice, and we're interested to see the comments and if your experience has been similar or different:</p><p><b>Video Killed the In-Person Star</b></p><p>I spent my childhood (and 20s and 30s) wondering when we would regularly use video screens to communicate like they did in every science fiction show. While we had the capability to Skype and Facetime long before the COVID-19 pandemic, it really hadn't become commonplace until a large enough portion of the population was forced to figure it out to continue working and socializing safely. </p><p>Even the Probate & Family Court in Massachusetts began holding hearings by video, something we were always told couldn't be done. While there remain challenges, especially with the large population the court still serves, some of us are wondering why would we ever go back to in-person for certain transactions. For example, in Massachusetts there is the option for filing a Joint Petition for Divorce, which is intended to streamline the process for couples who have reached a full agreement. While the statute still requires a hearing to approve the divorce, there is no reason these hearings have to be in person and scheduling these hearings virtually saves parties money and time, especially if they are paying counsel to attend. Even if many other hearings go back to in person, the court should strongly consider encouraging parties to reach agreement by rewarding them with this simpler, cheaper option for finalizing their divorce.</p><p>There is a lot lost by moving a mediation online (reading body language, forming personal connections, eye contact, etc.), which is why the majority of the mediation community resisted online work for so long. Despite these issues, there is also much gained by moving mediations online: it's less travel for the parties and counsel, it allows people to attend from a space that feels comfortable and safe to them, it allows the mediator to stay safe (medically), and in some ways it can be more comfortable for parties, especially if they are in a high conflict dispute. In addition, people can choose the best mediator for them without being concerned about the geographic location of the mediator. For all of these reasons, it is clear that video mediation is here to stay, and we expect it to be at least half of our practice going forward. That also means we need to keep improving on the technology and the experience video mediation offers to clients. Just like offices have to consider how they may need to remodel to fit this new world, mediators have to revamp their practices to accommodate a virtual practice.</p><p><b>The Lonely Office</b></p><p>Designing an office for mostly in-person meetings is very different than designing an office where everyone needs to be able to meet virtually (and privately), potentially at the same time. While offices had been moving away from rows of private offices to open spaces with private meeting rooms adjacent, we may be headed back. Each individual may not need as much space if they're not meeting people in person in their separate offices, but they will need private quiet space to conduct confidential video meetings. </p><p>Of course, that's only for the people that return to the office. Many people had to create home office spaces to accommodate their own personal needs, especially if they had children remote schooling. This has created a divide between those who like working at home (and can do it efficiently) and those who can't. Most offices in the future will likely be a mix of people in person and people working from home. Again this opens up great geographic possibilities, but also raises lots of questions about how to create a work culture when people are not regularly present in person, and how to balance the need for physical office space with the cost of maintenance. </p><p>Personally, I am not as good at focusing when I'm in my home environment and I need the separation of office and home. Except for the necessity of remote schooling for a period of time, I have returned to the office and have found it to be quite lonely. Even when people are here we're masked and it's not the same as the feel when a workplace is bustling with activity. It's so different working in an office now that a comedy like The Office may not even make sense to future generations except as a historical period piece which we'll have to explain to our grandchildren. </p><p>While this is the type of change that workplaces undergo periodically do to market changes, industry changes, and, now, global pandemics, it's hard to really understand the full impact these work changes have had on individuals because at the same time we are all participating in a shared traumatic event. We may be depressed that work is less social, but that's certainly not the only factor.</p><p><b>Shared Trauma is Still Trauma</b></p><p>Helping people resolve conflict is a tough business on some days, and when everyone is stressed out by the effects of a global pandemic, there are days when it feels impossible. As mediators we face all the same challenges that the rest of the world is facing: the possibility (or reality) of losing loved ones to this disease or its complications; the possibility (or reality) of getting sick ourselves; caring for children navigating home schooling, masking in school and restrictions on socializing; work stoppages, and supply chain shortages; restrictions on our own socialization, travel and leisure activities; and not knowing when or if this is all going to end. Actually, the fact that we may be experiencing some of the same traumas as our clients can be an asset in the mediation process. </p><p>It might help us make connections with our clients, help us with our need to empathize, and provide us and the clients with each other a shared experience to build on. Despite these potential upsides, trauma is still trauma, and this pandemic has reminded many of us of the need for self-care, both professionally for ourselves, and as something we recommend to our clients. We can only take so much conflict and if we're not dealing with these extra stressors in our lives in an effective way we won't be effective mediators. Similarly we need to remind our clients that the extra stress put on them by the world right now is going to make their family conflict harder, and that it is still not their fault. </p><p>The skills and lessons we learn as mediators are that much more important now to helping clients deal with conflict, and there is even more we have learned and can learn from this crisis.</p><p><b>Planning for the Unplannable</b></p><p>When finalizing a mediated agreement there should be a reasonable amount of reality testing. It's the mediators job to not take the easy answer, but rather to question solutions and as ask "what if" questions to make sure the solutions are complete. "What if you can't refinance and buy her out of the house?" "What if his contract doesn't get renewed?" The COVID-19 pandemic has taught us numerous additional potential conflicts to anticipate and hopefully help our clients plan for and avoid: "What if you disagree on medical treatments for your children?" "What if a child becomes ill and is required to quarantine?" "What if extended family is not in agreement to the safety standards you both agree to for your family?" "What if there is an additional tax credit tied to who lists the child as their dependent?" While no-one can anticipate every eventuality, we can learn from these experiences and help our clients make more robust and long-lasting agreements. </p><p>At the same time as we use this experience to grow we're left with the same uneasy feeling that plans are never guaranteed and that loss is always a possibility of living life. At it's core the pandemic hasn't changed any of that, just reminded us how much we should appreciate what we have today and never stop looking for the ways in which we can bring light to the darkness. At my birthday party this past November, I discovered one such bright spot when I realized how much more fun it is to loudly clap out my birthday cake candles instead of blowing them out, a new tradition I plan to keep in years to come, hopefully someday forgetting where and when it started and just enjoying that moment of celebration.</p>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3477794429426738181.post-51829619218884817972022-01-24T13:58:00.003-05:002022-01-24T15:51:48.637-05:00Probate and Family Court Standing Order 1-2022: Virtual Proceedings Highly Recommended amid escalating COVID-19 spread<p></p><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEi4QRT4flYoV2m0wy6IgUQKZ_raRg7b_PhXLel0Ae46q2idZOEtGCR-3mAwJcmZBBgSiRqeZjcu3fPEuAoxBaHuvVx0ft1WSUj52Rx7KM_CrWjTWVarTq_roMt2VDaH_vOSU6hIhNGX7uQgn52uXpqsFe1FiB7NdEQdgmPG7qC7PWUXR71VkHALBCzJ=s600" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="432" data-original-width="600" height="144" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEi4QRT4flYoV2m0wy6IgUQKZ_raRg7b_PhXLel0Ae46q2idZOEtGCR-3mAwJcmZBBgSiRqeZjcu3fPEuAoxBaHuvVx0ft1WSUj52Rx7KM_CrWjTWVarTq_roMt2VDaH_vOSU6hIhNGX7uQgn52uXpqsFe1FiB7NdEQdgmPG7qC7PWUXR71VkHALBCzJ=w200-h144" width="200" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Photo by <a href="https://unsplash.com/@sigmund?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText">Sigmund</a> on <a href="https://unsplash.com/?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText">Unsplash</a></span></td></tr></tbody></table>The Massachusetts Probate and Family Court has released <a href="https://www.mass.gov/probate-and-family-court-rules/probate-and-family-court-standing-order-1-2022-court-operations-under-the-exigent-circumstances-created-by-the-covid-19-pandemic">Standing Order 1-2022</a>, temporarily overriding Standing Order 1-2021, regarding Court Operations Under the Exigent Circumstances Created by the COVID-19 Pandemic.<p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">The Order, effective 01/05/2022, requires that all cases be
held remotely if the case can be changed from in-person to virtual without
having to reschedule. The form to request an in-person hearing be changed to
remote can be found here: <a href="https://www.mass.gov/doc/assented-to-motion-for-all-parties-to-appear-remotely-cjd-424/download">https://www.mass.gov/doc/assented-to-motion-for-all-parties-to-appear-remotely-cjd-424/download</a>
<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i>Note: If all parties and attorneys do not agree to appear
remotely, a Motion (CJD 400) form may need to be filed.<o:p></o:p></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">According to the order, rescheduling of cases is discouraged and should only happen
as a last resort. While the change to virtual proceedings is highly recommended,
scheduled in-person hearings shall continue where staffing levels are adequate.
<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">In alignment with the shift to virtual proceedings, filing
is now encouraged to be done through US mail or electronic means where available.
Drop boxes may be available in some locations. Email filings will be accepted
under specific circumstances also detailed in the Order. <o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal">This obviously remains an ever changing landscape during this ongoing pandemic. </p>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3477794429426738181.post-57895442708450943642021-08-24T10:24:00.010-04:002021-09-14T13:16:23.236-04:00New Massachusetts Child Support Guidelines (2021): Big Changes, Little Changes, Typos & some Unexpected Results<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJCBH0in2LPGgcUS8Myaf_6gl422KfGMyjtBJ02W6iIqUKWvY-YYxmK8i8Bc2zFwdbAV7oYQ7hVsMDa-HcgXjP97x2K4X_T_ZbcCvErkQ2zOi-4Zrea5kDXKpwugnzm5ezMj9EAN5ruLY/s1200/2021+child+suppport+update+text+-+orange+balloon+on+blue+sky.png" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="800" data-original-width="1200" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJCBH0in2LPGgcUS8Myaf_6gl422KfGMyjtBJ02W6iIqUKWvY-YYxmK8i8Bc2zFwdbAV7oYQ7hVsMDa-HcgXjP97x2K4X_T_ZbcCvErkQ2zOi-4Zrea5kDXKpwugnzm5ezMj9EAN5ruLY/s320/2021+child+suppport+update+text+-+orange+balloon+on+blue+sky.png" width="320" /></a></div><div>UPDATE: The court has released a <a href="https://www.mass.gov/info-details/child-support-guidelines#2021-guidelines,-forms,-and-information-" target="_blank">web calculating version of the 2021 MA Child Support Guidelines Worksheet</a>. It resolves some of the typos referred to below, but the unexpected calculations still apply.</div><div><br /></div>Every four years, per federal mandate, the Massachusetts Probate & Family Court revisits the Child Support Guidelines through the work of a Task Force appointed by the Chief Justice. The <a href="https://www.mass.gov/law-library/2021-child-support-guidelines">2021 Massachusetts Child Support Guidelines</a> were recently posted. <b>They take effect on October 4, 2021. </b> <div><br /></div><div>If you are interested in a training on all of these changes to the new Child Support Guidelines:<p><b><a href="https://dmtatraining.com/#advancedtraining">DMTA Presents the 2021 MA Child Support Guidelines Update</a></b> – Attend this event to learn the key updates you need to know for your mediation clients. Presented by Justin Kelsey of <a href="https://dmtatraining.com" target="_blank">Divorce Mediation Training Associates</a> and <a href="https://skylarklaw.com" target="_blank">Skylark Law & Mediation, PC</a>.</p><p></p><p>For a full comparison of all the <a href="https://skylarklaw.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/Comparison-of-2018-and-2021-MA-Child-Support-Guidelines.pdf" target="_blank">tracked changes between the 2018 and 2021 Massachusetts Child Support Guidelines you can download a pdf showing the changes here</a>.</p><h2 style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #ffa400;">The 2021 Massachusetts Child Support Guidelines Worksheet</span></h2><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://grayjayendeavors.com/downloads/2021-massachusetts-child-support-guidelines-worksheet/" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="2021 MA Child Support Guidelines Worksheet Page 1" border="0" data-original-height="825" data-original-width="638" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQlvnMCu3eXKMh6ogLt1NsgBwMm649vsKFXzyYJ6Qq_mtRBRhw_-86WXzR3zWseWx_mwe8IGsKembk_unvaqGLRTooR04LaJoEMa5HFr-qO7NGAg7phGEiTXgr0ZHkH9JOCUMoVq3ih2U/w154-h200/Sample+MA+Child+Support+Guidelines+2021+-+8-23-212.png" width="154" /></a></div>While the court has not yet provided a worksheet that auto-calculates, there is a draft <a href="https://www.mass.gov/doc/2021-child-support-guidelines-worksheet/download" target="_blank">worksheet available to complete by hand</a>. <a href="https://skylarklaw.com/" target="_blank">Skylark Law & Mediation, PC</a> provides both a web-based and iPhone App version of the 2018 guidelines. The 2021 versions are not available yet, but they are currently in development (we will update this post with links when they become available). <p></p><p>An <a href="https://grayjayendeavors.com/downloads/2021-massachusetts-child-support-guidelines-worksheet/">auto-calculating version created in Microsoft Excel</a> is already available for download with a subscription to <a href="https://grayjayendeavors.com/massachusetts-forms-subscription/" target="_blank">Gray Jay Endeavors, LLC Massachusetts forms subscription.</a></p><p>The changes that were made by the Task Force for 2021 will be significant for some families, especially higher income earners and families with multiple children. Below is a list of the changes, some typos on the form, and some quirks of the 2021 guidelines' calculations:</p><h2 style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #ffa400;">The Most Significant Changes</span></h2><p><span style="font-weight: bold;">Minimum and Maximum Income Level Changes - </span><span>The 2018 guidelines included a minimum $25 per week child support order for lower income cases, and the guidelines were only presumptively applicable up to $250,000 of combined available gross income in higher income cases. The 2021 guidelines changed both of these bookends.</span></p><p><span>The new minimum orders are between $12 and $20 per week for gross incomes ranging from less than $210 per week up to $249 per week. Above $249 per week the regular guidelines calculation applies. This is highlighted by the shaded section in the <a href="https://www.mass.gov/doc/2021-child-support-guidelines-chart/download">2021 Child Support Guidelines Chart</a>. </span></p><p>The new maximum combined gross income for the guidelines worksheet calculation is $400,000 (or $7,692 per week). This means that many families that didn't have guidance on their income above $250,000 will now have a calculation that fits in the worksheet. While this gives these families additional guidance, many child support recipients in this category may be disappointed because the amount of income that is included when approaching the $400,000 amount is only 10% and that may be lower than the percentage of income parties negotiated on their own without this guidance in the past.</p><p>Additionally, unlike the previous 2018 iteration, the 2021 guidelines provide guidance for income over $400,000 that "any percentage applied to the payor’s income above the maximum level, as listed in Line 8b of the guidelines worksheet, should be below the percentage applied to the maximum level in Table A (10%)." In other<span> words, the 10% (or a higher percentage) won't be extended indefinitely on higher incomes but may be further reduced.</span></p><p>Here are the two Table As for comparison:</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqankI5EmwTFTfNgGTwqIkvIPSmK2UBwC_dTlieoFX0RQfco-Z4JripUKHOWxLPM0-k2U5472MawKK_v2tMw_i0KKjTvxk57Iraf6eh3PGSfgx1aBKhyphenhyphenYwObRbuViBes491cnbPb6jd3g/s845/Child+Support+Table+A+Comparison.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="845" data-original-width="600" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqankI5EmwTFTfNgGTwqIkvIPSmK2UBwC_dTlieoFX0RQfco-Z4JripUKHOWxLPM0-k2U5472MawKK_v2tMw_i0KKjTvxk57Iraf6eh3PGSfgx1aBKhyphenhyphenYwObRbuViBes491cnbPb6jd3g/w454-h640/Child+Support+Table+A+Comparison.jpg" width="454" /></a></div><div><br /></div>While the boundaries of each percentage rate changed slightly, the biggest changes can be seen above the old maximum ($4,808 per week).<div><br /></div><div><span style="font-weight: bold;">40% as a Potential Maximum Percentage for Child Support</span><b> - </b>The 2021 guidelines have a new deviation factor and the worksheet has been re-designed to highlight it:</div><div><blockquote>Whenever application of the guidelines requires a payor to pay a recipient more than 40% of the payor’s available income in Line 3a of the guidelines worksheet for a current child support order, there shall be a rebuttable presumption of a substantial hardship, justifying a deviation from the guidelines.</blockquote></div><div>It remains to be seen how this rebuttable presumption and what the amount of appropriate deviation will be in cases where the child support worksheet results in an order that exceeds this percentage. The Task Force in the commentary noted that a "threshold of 40% falls between economic estimates of child costs for one child and two children reported by the Betson-Rothbarth, USDA, and MIT Living Wage studies. The Task Force’s recommendation recognized the need for additional protection in certain limited cases where the child support order would exceed this percentage." </div><div><br /></div><div>It's unclear why the Task Force created this rebuttable presumption for all orders when the economic estimates are for one to two children. This deviation presumption may result in lower support orders for families with multiple children in certain circumstances despite the increased rates discussed next.</div><div><p style="text-align: left;"><span><b><span>Multiplier for Families with More than One Child</span> - </b>Table B of the Child Support Guidelines was updated with new rates for multiple children which will likely result in increased support calculations for many families with more than one child. Here are the two Table Bs side-by-side:</span></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjknjA6CfUiD1hMV3GIEgAQ6GRXASskHOgQwqTehp2ifRuAaCA6AUb9tmqd0LX6hUWXl94rdIbhFK1tAyCm1bMu2Lbie6ju1ImAI9U0ffBD17Wf3ojk9iUVHbClerUYBU43my1n4zFICco/s600/Child+Support+Table+B+Comparison.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="425" data-original-width="600" height="284" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjknjA6CfUiD1hMV3GIEgAQ6GRXASskHOgQwqTehp2ifRuAaCA6AUb9tmqd0LX6hUWXl94rdIbhFK1tAyCm1bMu2Lbie6ju1ImAI9U0ffBD17Wf3ojk9iUVHbClerUYBU43my1n4zFICco/w400-h284/Child+Support+Table+B+Comparison.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><p></p><p><span>When one child is over 18 the discount rate remains 25% but when some children are over 18 and some are under 18, the discount rates changed slightly reflecting these changes in Table B. This has less of an impact overall then the rate changes in Table B above.</span></p><p><span><b><span>Child Care Costs Adjustment </span>- </b>The 2018 guidelines reduced the available income of both parties by the child care costs paid, and had an additional section (combining these costs with health insurance costs as further described below) that then further adjusted the child support order in an attempt to have the parties share the burden of this cost proportionally. In 2018, the proportional cost was capped at 15% of the child support order. The 2021 guidelines changed this approach with the intent of having parents share the first $355 per week per child proportionally to their available income. </span></p><p><span>To accomplish this proportional split, the first reduction against available income was removed (as essentially double-counting this expense), and the cap was made on the amount per week per child rather than as a percentage of the support order. These changes are all reflected on the updated worksheet and do represent a more clear way of trying to apportion these expenses. Given this goal, I still wonder why this expense is not simply separated from the worksheet altogether, but at least this adjustment cleans up some of the issues with the 2018 approach. The one remaining objection I have to this cap is that it fails to recognize that child care costs vary greatly by location in Massachusetts and this cap might make sense in some areas, but not in other parts of the Commonwealth.</span></p><p><span><b><span>Health Care Costs Adjustment</span> - </b></span>The 2018 guidelines treated health insurance costs the same as child care costs (as described above). The 2021 guidelines changed this approach to simply include a credit for health insurance costs against available income. There is no proportional sharing built into the 2021 guidelines. The guidelines were also updated by amending the language for when the court orders a parent to provide health coverage and what is considered "reasonable in cost" and when it might create an "undue hardship" for a parent to pay health insurance. </p><p>One of the factors for the court determining whether to order a parent to maintain coverage for a child, is whether the health care coverage exceeds "5 per cent of the gross income of the party." Unfortunately premiums paid by many families do exceed 5 per cent of the parent's gross income. It's unclear what the guidelines intend the court to do in these cases. If the court doesn't order health insurance coverage, but the parties don't qualify for MassHealth, then the children are going to need coverage from somewhere and this section doesn't really address the fact that parties may (and often will) still choose to pay health insurance that exceeds this percentage of their gross income. In so doing, one parent is providing a benefit that the other parent is no longer significantly sharing under these guidelines. </p><h2 style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #ffa400;">Notable Changes</span></h2><p><b><span>"Parties" instead of "Litigants"</span> </b>- The Task Force recommended eliminating the word “litigant” from the Preamble and instead inserting “parties." While this is a minor change it is a welcome reminder that many parents relying on these guidelines do not see themselves as adversaries, but rather co-parents with the ability to work together and make agreements in the best interest of their children, even about money!</p><p><b><span>Updates relating to Social Security (SSR, SSDI & SSI) Benefits</span></b> - Some changes were made in the Source of Income section to further clarify that Supplemental Security Income (a means-tested financial benefit) is not included as income in calculating child support. In contrast, Social Security Retirement and Social Security Disability Income are included. In addition, while the 2018 guidelines contained reference to the <i><a href="https://scholar.google.com/scholar_case?case=3481827373228369001&hl=en&as_sdt=6&as_vis=1&oi=scholarr" target="_blank">Rosenberg v. Merida</a></i> case (which required also taking into account a dependency benefit received by a parent), the 2021 guidelines further clarify how to account for this and include worksheet directions for this type of income.</p><p><b><span>Additional Income included in Calculation </span>- </b>The Task Force added two types of income, previously not listed, that can be included in income for calculating child support:</p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>"income derived from stock options and similar incentives, excluding any income from the coverture portion allocated at the time of the divorce of the parties subject to this child support order" and </li><li>"alimony consistent with <a href="https://scholar.google.com/scholar_case?case=1152628438112561058&hl=en&as_sdt=6&as_vis=1&oi=scholarr" target="_blank"><i>Calvin C. v. Amelia A.</i></a>, 99 Mass. App. Ct. 714 (2021)".</li></ul><p></p><p>Both of these additions are due to appeals court rulings. The first addition, stock options not allocated during the marriage, is an issue that was addressed in <i><a href="https://scholar.google.com/scholar_case?case=4148185154295351928&hl=en&as_sdt=6&as_vis=1&oi=scholarr" target="_blank">Ludwig v. Lamee-Ludwig</a>.</i> </p><p>The second addition includes specific reference to the case (<i>Calvin C. v. Amelia A.</i>) where alimony was being paid by the Husband but child support was being paid by the Wife, and how to handle the alimony in that instance. The Appeals court approved the lower court's exclusion of the alimony from the child support calculation, in the <i>Calvin C. v. Amelia A.,</i> case, and noted that it's ruling was specifically limited to cases where there are "two payors whose combined income is less than $250,000, who have reciprocal support obligations to one another, and a materially reduced postmarital lifestyle." </p><p>In making this supposedly limited ruling for parties with crossing support orders, the court noted </p><p></p><blockquote>that where one spouse is the sole payor of both alimony and child support, and alimony is calculated first, it is usually necessary to “us[e] the parties’ adjusted, postalimony incomes when calculating child support to avoid running afoul of G. L. c. 208, § 53 (c) (2) . . . .” Calvin C. v. Amelia A., 99 Mass. App. Ct. 714, 721 (2021).</blockquote><i>-excerpt from the commentary to the 2021 Guidelines.</i></div><div><i><br /></i></div><div>The Appeals court in <i>Calvin C. v. Amelia A. </i>specifically noted that "[t]his language is intended to provide judges with necessary flexibility to address the needs of the parties in a particular case without running afoul of the act", and including this specific reference in the 2021 Guidelines is obviously reiterating that point.<br /><p></p><p><b style="font-size: large;">Overtime and Secondary Income Clarification </b> - The 2018 Guidelines included a requirement that "due consideration must <i>first</i><b> </b>be given to the history of the income" (emphasis added) when deciding whether to disregard some or all of overtime or a second job. The word "first" was removed in the 2021 guidelines, making this factor equal in weigh to the other factors: "the expectation that the income will continue to be available, the economic needs of the parties and the children, the impact of the overtime or secondary job on the parenting plan, and whether the overtime work is a requirement of the job." </p><p><b><span>Relationship to Alimony Clarification</span></b> - The 2018 Guidelines included a section indicating that alimony under the Alimony Reform Act could be "calculated first, and in other circumstances child support may be calculated first." This opened the door to argue that alimony was possible even when there was a presumptive child support that fit into the guidelines (under $250,000 of combined household income in 2018), by running alimony on that same income instead of child support. The 2021 Guidelines added clarification that this choice can be made "[a]t any combined income level" and that a factor to consider in making this choice is "the total amount of support that would be available to each household." </p><p><b><span>Uninsured Medical and Dental/Vision Expenses Contribution</span></b> - The words "<i>out-of-pocket and</i>" were added to the guidelines when referring to uninsured expenses to clarify that the expenses being split could include expenses either because someone is uninsured or because they are insured but there are still out-of-pocket expenses not covered by insurance, e.g. co-pays and deductibles.</p><p><b><span>Amendments to the Circumstances for Finding Deviation</span></b> - A few small language changes were made to the deviation factors presumably meant to clarify certain situations:</p><p>1. The phrase "minimum support order amount" was replaced with the phrase "setting a child support at $0" in order to emphasize "that in certain circumstances setting a child support order at $0 may be appropriate."</p><p>2. The word "time" was added to the end of the deviation factor: "a parent has extraordinary travel or other expenses' related to parenting <i>time</i>" to clarify this factor.</p><p>3. The factor "a parent is absorbing a child care cost that is disproportionate in relation to his or her income;" was changed to "a parent has extraordinary child care costs for the children covered by this order;" to clarify the emphasis is on the cost not the relation to income.</p><div><h2 style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #ffa400;">Typos & Unexpected Results</span></h2></div><p>As with any formula intended to make every situation fit into one size box, there are bound to be unexpected results in some cases, especially the more complicated the formula gets. The Guidelines Worksheet expanding to 4 pages is a reflection of the rising complication of the calculations and has resulted in a few notable results that might raise some eyebrows;</p><p><b>Typo on Line 8b</b> - On the initial draft court worksheet (released with the Guidelines and likely to be updated) line 8b lists the formula for this line as "8a x 3b". Line 8a is the combined additional income above $7,692. Line 3b is the combined available income (a dollar amount). Line 3c is the share of combined additional income (a percentage). In context multiplying the income over $7,692 by the combined available income doesn't make sense. The formula for <b>line 8b should read "8a x 3c"</b>. </p><p><b>Ambiguity on Line 6e</b> - The initial draft court worksheet (released with the Guidelines) line 6e lists the formula for this line when 6d is < 10% as "6c or ((6d + 10%) x 3a) for each parent, whichever is less, but not less than an amount from the shaded area of the Guidelines Chart". This formula doesn't indicate which 3a to use. Only one option makes sense though:</p><p>The purpose of this calculation is to lower the support amount when the recipient's income is sufficiently large compared to the initial support calculation (i.e. 6c ÷ 3a < 10%). This formula only makes sense if the 3a referenced in the formula is the "other parent's 3a" in the same way that line 7b references the "Payor 3a". If it's the same parent's 3a then the comparison formula, ((6d + 10%) x 3a), would never be less than 6c, so this line would be superfluous. </p><p>Thus line 6e, in order to avoid any ambiguity, should be amended to "If 6d is < 10%, enter 6c or ((6d + 10%) x <i>the other parent's </i>3a) for each parent, whichever is less, but not less than an amount from the shaded area of the Guidelines Chart"</p><p><b>Unexpected Result related to Disparate Incomes</b> - When a support recipient has significant income, or when parents have significantly disparate incomes and share or split parenting time, small changes in their income can result in big changes in the support order. This is due to the Section 6 and Section 7 calculations that check to see when a payor's support amount is less than 10% of the recipient's income. Because these figures are rounded to the nearest dollar, and the nearest whole percentile, small changes can have a significant effect. </p><p><i>Consider the following example: </i>Parents of 2 children under 18; the parent with the children 2/3 of the time has an income of $3,568 per week and the other parent has the children 1/3 of the time and earns $1,500 per week. The child support amount is $339 per week. However, if the first parent's income goes up just $1 to $3,569 per week then the child support drops to $285 per week (a $54 per week difference). This seems non-sensical but is correct, due to the calculation on line 7a and 7b. This also can be a very different result depending on whether you choose to round the percentage on 7a to a whole number or allow for decimals. </p><p><span style="color: #3d85c6;"><b>Practice Tip:</b></span> Keep a close eye on the potential for small changes having a large impact whenever line 6c or 7a is close to 10%.</p><p><b>Unexpected Result related to relatively Small Incomes</b> - When a payor has available income of about $250 per week, or when either parent has this amount of income with shared or split parenting time, small changes in their income can result in big changes in the support order. This is due to the <a href="https://www.mass.gov/doc/2021-child-support-guidelines-chart/download">2021 Child Support Guidelines Chart</a> calculations that check to see when a payor's available income is less than $250. There is a jump in the resulting order when the income moves from $249 to $250 causing some odd results</p><p><i>Consider the following example: </i>Parents of 2 children under 18; the parent with the children 2/3 of the time has an income of $0 per week and the other parent has the children 1/3 of the time and earns $249 per week. The child support amount is $20 per week. However, if the payor's income goes up just $1 to $250 per week then the child support jumps to $77 per week (a $57 per week difference). This seems non-sensical but is correct, due to the calculation on line 3e and 5c. </p><p><span style="color: #3d85c6;"><b>Practice Tip:</b></span> Keep a close eye on the potential for small changes having a large impact whenever line 3a or 3d is close to $250. </p><p>If you have comments about any of these changes, noticed any other typos or unexpected results, or you want to note any other changes we missed, please comment below or <a href="https://skylarklaw.com/contact/">reach out to us directly.</a> </p><p><br /></p></div></div>Skylark Law & Mediation, PChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06250036288369242533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3477794429426738181.post-46154320339401432021-05-14T10:19:00.001-04:002021-05-14T10:19:35.814-04:00Imagine there's no Court, It isn't Hard to do<p>In the last year there have been times due to the COVID-19 pandemic when the court was closed or significantly delayed. Even now, more than a year after the lockdowns started, we are experiencing long delays in obtaining court dates. </p>
<blockquote cite="https://www.tiktok.com/@thatmediator/video/6962143138467138822" class="tiktok-embed" data-video-id="6962143138467138822" style="max-width: 605px; min-width: 325px;"> <section> <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@thatmediator" target="_blank" title="@thatmediator">@thatmediator</a> <p>Imagine there’s no weapons, how would we find peace? <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/tag/mediation" target="_blank" title="mediation">##mediation</a> <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/tag/mediatorsoftiktok" target="_blank" title="mediatorsoftiktok">##mediatorsoftiktok</a></p> <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/music/Imagine-Originally-Performed-by-John-Lennon-6890912794862946305" target="_blank" title="♬ Imagine (Originally Performed by John Lennon) - Piano Karaoke Version - Sing2Piano">♬ Imagine (Originally Performed by John Lennon) - Piano Karaoke Version - Sing2Piano</a> </section> </blockquote> <script async="" src="https://www.tiktok.com/embed.js"></script>
Fortunately, we have an answer for what to do if there is no court. You're not simply on your own, and in fact there are lots of ways to resolve conflict outside of court. Learn more about your options from these previous posts:
<div><br /></div><div><a href="https://blog.skylarklaw.com/2020/02/divorce-options-update-for-2020.html" target="_blank">Divorce Options - an Update for 2020</a></div><div><br /></div><div><a href="https://blog.skylarklaw.com/2020/03/replace-your-cancelled-court-hearing.html" target="_blank">Replace your cancelled Court Hearing with a Mediation</a></div><div><br /></div><div><a href="https://blog.skylarklaw.com/2020/04/a-template-for-avoiding-court.html" target="_blank">A Template for Avoiding Court</a></div><div><br /></div><div><a href="https://blog.skylarklaw.com/2019/10/youre-thinking-about-conflict-all-wrong.html" target="_blank">You're Thinking about Conflict All Wrong: Is there a better way to think about conflict; </a></div><div><a href="https://blog.skylarklaw.com/2019/10/youre-thinking-about-conflict-all-wrong.html" target="_blank">a model which can free us from our fear of conflict?</a></div><div><br /></div><div><a href="https://blog.skylarklaw.com/2017/04/how-does-divorce-end-or.html" target="_blank">How does a Divorce end? 😡, ☹️, or 🙂</a></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>Skylark Law & Mediation, PChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06250036288369242533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3477794429426738181.post-47484207615717940772021-04-29T16:57:00.001-04:002021-04-29T16:57:33.389-04:00The Most Important Thing when Dividing Retirement in Divorce (& 4 Traps if You're not Informed)<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgr08r25fd2AZ5RxzozoTVr1oJXzEsIkJOfuAQDcNT963_pgq92y0rrJ6RUYl-GhqfEmQTwBSWhtTF90HzfwwJ4-JJnB_Yva68xQPOF6RblAbYLe9HGIVrqamj-FFGPN9-Uyr4xS5AYr8g/s500/4+traps+when+dividing+retirement+accounts.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="366" data-original-width="500" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgr08r25fd2AZ5RxzozoTVr1oJXzEsIkJOfuAQDcNT963_pgq92y0rrJ6RUYl-GhqfEmQTwBSWhtTF90HzfwwJ4-JJnB_Yva68xQPOF6RblAbYLe9HGIVrqamj-FFGPN9-Uyr4xS5AYr8g/s320/4+traps+when+dividing+retirement+accounts.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />In many divorce cases retirement accounts are the biggest, or at least one of the biggest, assets. Because of that, it is imperative to understand the options for transferring and dividing retirement assets in a way that maximizes the benefits and minimizes taxes. <p></p><p style="text-align: center;"><b>Informed Consent is the Most Important Thing when Dividing Retirement in Divorce</b></p><p>You don't want to make significant financial decisions about your future without understanding the financial consequences. Retirement accounts are complicated, vary greatly in their requirements & plan details, and can result in significant tax liability. If you don't feel fully informed when agreeing to how a retirement account or multiple accounts are being divided, then you are taking a financial risk that most likely cannot be undone once your divorce is final. To avoid making uninformed or bad decisions, consult with retirement division and financial experts for information and advice before making these decisions (see below for the author's flat fee options for obtaining this type of advice).</p><p>Here are just four ways that lack of information can be costly in a dividing retirement accounts in a divorce:</p><p>1. <b>Defined Contribution Plans are different than Defined Benefit Plans</b> - If you treat a pension statement the same as a 401(k) statement you might be leaving a lot of money on the table in your divorce. Pensions typically pay out for an employee's lifetime and can typically also be extended for the lifetime of a spouse or former spouse. This means that the value is not simple to calculate and is often underestimated.</p><p>2. <b>Market Changes can be Significant - </b>Retirement account values change due to the investment changes in addition to contributions or withdrawals. A divorce agreement or judgment will identify the division date (after which contributions and withdrawals are not shared), but often market changes are ignored. This can be a real problem if it takes months (or even years) for the transfer of funds to be completed. If you don't identify that market changes are included you risk losing out on any investment gains during the time between the division date and the actual transfer date.</p><p>3. <b>Choosing Offset v. Diversification can have Unintended Consequences</b> - Similar to the issues that arise due to market changes between the division date and transfer date, different accounts are going to be invested differently and will change differently between the division date and transfer date. If you agree to offset multiple accounts and only divide from one account you may be saving on QDRO preparation fees but you are risking that the one account used for the offset is more or less favorable of an investment than the others. </p><p>4. <b>Failing to Address Survivor Benefits can be Costly</b> - Some retirement accounts cannot be divided until retirement age and for those accounts if you don't also provide for survivor benefits for the former spouse, then the former spouse could end up receiving nothing. Government and private pensions differ significantly on the types of survivor benefits available and on the limitations for those benefits. If you don't address the survivor benefits in your agreement then you could have agreed to divide a pension and end up with nothing if your ex-spouse dies. </p><p><b>How to Get Informed: </b>Retirement Division in Divorce (usually via QDRO or DRO) is complicated and can often result in ongoing conflict after the divorce process was supposed to be over. To avoid this part of your divorce dragging on, Skylark Law & Mediation, PC offers the following service:</p><p><b><i>Retirement Division Mediation Session (1 hour session for $400) -</i></b> Justin Kelsey prepares QDROs and DROs for <a href="https://grayjayendeavors.com" target="_blank">Gray Jay Endeavors, LLC</a> and is an experienced mediator. Putting these skills together, Justin can join your case (whether you are in a mediation, negotiation, or litigation) for a one-time retirement division information and mediation session helping you get the retirement division right the first time! <a href="https://skylarklaw.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php" target="_blank">Schedule here</a></p>Skylark Law & Mediation, PChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06250036288369242533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3477794429426738181.post-63895475733858527922021-03-26T09:19:00.000-04:002021-03-26T09:19:02.416-04:00Should I Tell my Spouse in a Divorce that I'm Working with a Lawyer?<p><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXyb7R8Qu61Z1vN2zBwlLTYw3fE5SY_lrl9AMHMJH-qQO_GRvaI9ALbAU_WEOclHoJ9Fg5uA0m34mNPuWyBK-Yjew2KI0EKFm7MK6hxGDntFtD-q_1tY85jbDTqxFfDpXJfcu4ZJR2siU/s750/Sad+Look+asking+Question.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="750" data-original-width="600" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXyb7R8Qu61Z1vN2zBwlLTYw3fE5SY_lrl9AMHMJH-qQO_GRvaI9ALbAU_WEOclHoJ9Fg5uA0m34mNPuWyBK-Yjew2KI0EKFm7MK6hxGDntFtD-q_1tY85jbDTqxFfDpXJfcu4ZJR2siU/s320/Sad+Look+asking+Question.jpg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Photo by <a href="https://unsplash.com/@itssammoqadam?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText">Sam Moqadam</a> on <a href="https://unsplash.com/s/photos/secret?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText">Unsplash</a></td></tr></tbody></table>Divorce is complicated and one of the challenges is the push and pull between transparency and protecting oneself. Individuals in a divorce often want to hide information that they are worried will concern their soon-to-be ex-spouse or in some way potentially disadvantage them in court or in a settlement process. The choice of whether to be transparent about any choice, including the choice to hire a lawyer, has to be weighed against the pros and cons of that decision.</p><p>As a mediator, I favor erring on the side of transparency. If you hide something relevant during a negotiation where both spouses are supposed to be able to make informed decisions then you risk the negotiation failing and all future negotiations being conducted without any trust. In other words, if you want your spouse to be transparent, you have to demonstrate that willingness as well. This seems more obvious when you're considering keeping relevant information secret, like the infamous "hidden bank account." Obviously you shouldn't commit fraud and hide information you're required to disclose. But what about process decisions, like hiring a lawyer to advise you? Does it make sense to disclose that as well?</p><p style="text-align: left;"></p><center><b>Should you disclose if you're working with a lawyer?</b></center><p></p><p>I understand that some people don't trust lawyers, and if they're negotiating with their spouse, they're worried that hiring a lawyer will make it harder, or even worse, force their case into a contentious court battle. When one person needs a lawyer to help them decide what they think is fair, they might be nervous that the other person will be angry or scared if they share that they are working with a lawyer.</p><p>However, that is being afraid of one type of lawyer: the litigious advocate. There are lawyers who approach cases with a more settlement oriented mindset. When I mediate, I recommend that people hire mediation-friendly lawyers, to make sure that they have advice but in a way that reinforces that the ultimate decisions are still up to the client. If you hire a lawyer like this, and you both commit to that type of approach, then you can avoid this fear that a lawyer will automatically make things harder. My hope when a client hires me is that if there spouse looks at my website, they'll be reassured that I'm going to help bring peace to their family, not ramp up the fight.</p><p>On the other hand, if the reason someone doesn't want their spouse to get a lawyer is because they don't want them to be informed, then their fear is justified but also disempowering. If you're empowering yourself in a mediation, then I would encourage you not to hide that. It's not going to be a secret when you start to advocate more effectively for yourself anyway. </p><p>I recognize that there are some situations in which people need to protect themselves, for example when one spouse is controlling or abusive, but if you are in one of those situations you are more likely to end up in a contested court action and have to disclose your attorney anyway. </p><p>Ultimately, I believe that hiding information is more likely to backfire and hurt a relationship then being upfront initially about something, even if that thing is likely to upset the other party. It's so much worse if they find out later, and trust may never be recoverable. In addition, if you're in a process with a neutral, like a mediator, you can use their assistance to break the news effectively and let the mediator help enforce the benefits of working with mediation-friendly attorneys in the mediation process. </p>Skylark Law & Mediation, PChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06250036288369242533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3477794429426738181.post-13561784118233319262021-01-26T17:18:00.008-05:002021-01-26T17:27:01.883-05:00Are divorce lawyers doing harm?<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMJEBQCva/" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="464" data-original-width="258" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjT5iBwkEkEvYJreJ2Nnhc9ah3nDM40SzDPwxT7wffeyVKbj8Pd5GukVxdVbjoheFxrSE7_MxTSk8uXCkePmnXip05nndu7nqU1AvxTytpY5h17l-DDhYDouGyXdthbiT_sYastTb1AoRM/s320/Reduce+Conflict+Tik+Tok+screenshot.jpg" /></a></div>While the Hippocratic Oath is no longer required for doctors, we often hear the principle attributed to that ancient Greek oath for healers to <b>"first, do no harm." </b>The <a href="https://www.nlm.nih.gov/hmd/greek/greek_oath.html" target="_blank">translation</a> is actually closer to "I will do no harm or injustice to them," but the sentiment is clear. When trying to help someone, your first obligation is to not make things worse. <p></p><p>Today, I attended the <a href="https://blog.skylarklaw.com/2021/01/massachusetts-child-support-guidelines.html">third in a series of public forums held by the Child Support Guidelines Task Force</a> giving people the opportunity to comment on what should change in the 2018 Massachusetts Child Support Guidelines. What struck me about the testimony is that very few people commented on the guidelines themselves. Rather they focused on the perceived impact of the guidelines and of the courts on family conflict. Almost universally, the commenters suggested that changes were needed because the experience in court impoverished families, increased conflict, and hurt children.</p><p>Whether calling for a lower formula or a higher formula, for those commenting on biases in the system or income inequality, or even when sharing the dangers of family and intimate partner violence; <b>every commenter seemed to agree on one thing: the family court system should be helping more.</b></p><p>Now, admittedly this is not a random selection of court customers. These are people who felt strongly enough to spend their afternoon in a public hearing (even online this is not a convenient or fun afternoon). There is some self-selection of people who are looking to see change in the system, because in some way the system failed them or someone they knew. Even acknowledging this bias in the selection, though, I couldn't help wondering: Is the court, the bar, and the Task Force doing enough to reduce conflict? Can the child support guidelines accomplish their goal without doing harm?</p><p>I'm not sure of the answers to these questions, and much of what was discussed in the public form today went well beyond the power of the Task Force to address when making changes to a formula, or adding definition to a court guidance. The Task Force is bound to the statute and federal requirements, and the court is limited in their creativity of solutions by statute, case law and the constitution. And choosing to change one thing in the formula will inevitably increase the burden on one side. There will always be someone unhappy with the result. </p><p style="text-align: center;"><b>Unless.... we start asking lawyers, </b></p><p style="text-align: center;"><b>who are often the gatekeepers of the court process </b></p><p style="text-align: center;"><b>to "first, do no harm." </b></p><p>The problem with the court system and the rules, is not with one choice or another in making the rules. The problem is that there is always a good and just exception to any rule. No matter how good the court makes the rules, no matter how good the Task Force drafts the guidelines, they will always be one-size fits all solutions pasted over an infinite diversity in actual families. <b>The court will always be a hammer, regardless of how many problems start out as nails. </b></p><blockquote cite="https://www.tiktok.com/@thatmediator/video/6922185480696122629" class="tiktok-embed" data-video-id="6922185480696122629" style="max-width: 605px; min-width: 325px;"> <section> <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@thatmediator" target="_blank" title="@thatmediator">@thatmediator</a> <p>The 3 Fs are not your only option to resolve conflict.</p> <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/music/original-sound-6922185622765456134" target="_blank" title="♬ original sound - Justin Kelsey - Mediator ☮️">♬ original sound - Justin Kelsey - Mediator ☮️</a> </section> </blockquote> <script async="" src="https://www.tiktok.com/embed.js"></script><p>Recognizing that lawyers, as problem-solvers, have many tools besides going to court, is the key to better problem solving, to finding solutions unique and respectful to more families. Legal training should include interest-based negotiation training, mediation training, and collaborative law training. Until that time when law schools catch up, you (the reader) can support this necessity by referring to and working with lawyers who have chosen to take trainings in these additional disciplines, to avail themselves of more tools to help their clients. </p><p>It's time to expect more from lawyers then simply "fighting" on their client's behalf. An evaluation of a client's case should include the whole picture. Clients should be given the chance to understand that going to court, even if they win, will often increase the level of conflict they have. Even clients who have been abused or otherwise had their power taken from them, deserve to know all the options and choices of how to proceed. Educating them about problem solving is empowering. Being a champion for someone doesn't teach them anything about how to defend or stand up for themselves in the future. </p><p>If we're going to participate in the most intimate of people's family conflicts then we have an obligation to use all the tools at our disposal to help reduce conflict, especially before taking any action that would increase it. I can't help wondering how many of the stories I heard today would be different if that approach was taken first. Would they be praising their attorneys or mediators instead of complaining about them? That should at the very least be our goal going forward. Regardless of what changes the Task Force recommends, there will be opportunities for fights going forward, and each one is a chance to increase the conflict or decrease it. What will you do?</p><p><br /></p>Skylark Law & Mediation, PChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06250036288369242533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3477794429426738181.post-57200217898431487282021-01-10T16:02:00.002-05:002021-01-10T16:04:51.521-05:00Massachusetts Child Support Guidelines News - Part 2<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh50FKnggFGr8dhSabJwMAu7BnPmfDtPIq2-X97rghI1CfaiJU2D6lMEWzK41Ec5emGcwzLe4Olt-pymxTflONUCV4w85GJquw-NnfllFI-MSmIO6W6f1_TlPzDYhdGlGfrD1K4vSTVi6k/s600/CSG+Updates+Calculator.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="400" data-original-width="600" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh50FKnggFGr8dhSabJwMAu7BnPmfDtPIq2-X97rghI1CfaiJU2D6lMEWzK41Ec5emGcwzLe4Olt-pymxTflONUCV4w85GJquw-NnfllFI-MSmIO6W6f1_TlPzDYhdGlGfrD1K4vSTVi6k/s320/CSG+Updates+Calculator.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>Since <a href="https://blog.skylarklaw.com/2020/12/massachusetts-child-support-guidelines.html">we first posted about the upcoming update to the 2020-2021 Massachusetts Child Support Guidelines Task force</a> there have been a few additional updates:<p></p><p>On December 15, 2020, the <a href="https://mcfm.org/blog/content/child-support-guidelines-task-force-comments">Massachusetts Council on Family Mediation submitted comments from members on potential child support guidelines updates</a>.</p><p>While the comment period for submitting written comments closed on December 15, 2020, there are upcoming public forums and we're sharing the full notice with you below:</p><p style="text-align: center;">NOTICE OF PUBLIC FORUMS</p><p style="text-align: center;">CHILD SUPPORT GUIDELINES TASK FORCE SEEKS PUBLIC COMMENT</p><p><b>Overview:</b></p><p>Federal law and regulations require that each state review its Child Support Guidelines at least every four years. To comply with the federally required review, the Honorable Paula M. Carey, Chief Justice of the Massachusetts Trial Court, has appointed a Task Force to review the Child Support Guidelines that became effective on September 15, 2017, as amended June 15, 2018.</p><p>Chief Justice Carey appointed the Honorable John D. Casey, Chief Justice of the Probate and Family Court, and the Honorable Katherine Field, First Justice of the Bristol County Probate and Family Court, as the Co-Chairs of the Task Force. The Task Force includes representatives from the Probate and Family Court, the Department of Revenue, the domestic relations bar, and legal services organizations. More information about this child support review can be found at: <a href="https://www.mass.gov/info-details/2020-2021-child-support-guidelines-review">https://www.mass.gov/info-details/2020-2021-child-support-guidelines-review</a>. </p><p><b>Members:</b></p><p>The members of the Task Force are:</p><p>Hon. John D. Casey, Co-chair</p><p>Hon. Katherine Field, Co-chair</p><p>Kara Carey, Esq.</p><p>David Friedman, Esq.</p><p>Fern Frolin, Esq.</p><p>Lisa Greenberg, Esq.</p><p>Christopher Hercun</p><p>Peter Kajko, Esq.</p><p>Hon. Robert W. Langlois (ret.)</p><p>Dolores O'Neill, Esq.</p><p>Anna Richardson, Esq.</p><p>Jamie Sabino, Esq.</p><p>Kimberlie Sweet, Esq.</p><p>Patrick Yoyo, Esq.</p><p>Amanda Vanderhorst, Esq.</p><p>Kelly Zawistowski, Esq.</p><p><br /></p><p><b>Public Forums and Written Comments:</b></p><p>The public is invited to provide comments on the Child Support Guidelines for the Task Force's consideration. Public forums will be held on January 21, 2021, from 4:00 - 6:00 p.m. (EST); January 22, 2021, from 11 a.m. - 1:00 p.m. (EST); and January 26, 2021, from 2:00 - 4:00 p.m. (EST).</p><p>Because of the COVID-19 pandemic, the forums will be held by Zoom. The forums will be open to the public to view. The forums are an opportunity to make a brief statement to members of the Task Force. Oral testimony is limited to 3 minutes per person, and should not refer to specifics about a speaker's court case. The Task Force also encourages people to email written testimony or comments to childsupport@jud.state.ma.us by January 26, 2020. Please do not submit any written testimony or comments to Task Force members individually.</p><p>The public forums will be recorded by the host. Anything said will be captured and made part of the recording. No other recording is allowed.</p><p><b>How to Participate: </b></p><p>If you would like to speak at a forum, please send an email in advance to</p><p><a href="mailto:childsupport@jud.state.ma.us">childsupport@jud.state.ma.us</a> to register. The email must include your full name, your affiliation (if any), your phone number and email address, and the date you would like to speak. Please also include in the subject line of your email the date you would like to speak. You may register by email up to 15 minutes before each forum begins.</p><p>The information for accessing the Zoom meeting is:</p><p>Join ZoomGov Meeting</p><p><a href="https://www.zoomgov.com/j/1600053895?pwd=TFl3cUV4YVJjQTlDdXVHeDFPSWh4dz09">https://www.zoomgov.com/j/1600053895?pwd=TFl3cUV4YVJjQTlDdXVHeDFPSWh4dz09</a></p><p><br /></p><p>Meeting ID: 160 005 3895</p><p>Passcode: 352589</p><p>One tap mobile</p><p>+16692545252,,1600053895#,,,,,,0#,,352589# US (San Jose)</p><p>+16468287666,,1600053895#,,,,,,0#,,352589# US (New York)</p><p> </p><p>Dial by your location</p><p> +1 669 254 5252 US (San Jose)</p><p> +1 646 828 7666 US (New York)</p><p>Meeting ID: 160 005 3895</p><p>Passcode: 352589</p><p>Find your local number: https://www.zoomgov.com/u/abPVxTBIsr</p><p> </p><p>Join by SIP</p><p>1600053895@sip.zoomgov.com</p><p> </p><p>Join by H.323</p><p>161.199.138.10 (US West)</p><p>161.199.136.10 (US East)</p><p>Meeting ID: 160 005 3895</p><p>Passcode: 352589</p><p> </p><p> ---</p><p>To sign up to receive Probate and Family Court email updates, please go to:</p><p><a href="https://www.mass.gov/forms/probate-and-family-court-notification-email-signup-page">https://www.mass.gov/forms/probate-and-family-court-notification-email-signup-page</a> </p>Skylark Law & Mediation, PChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06250036288369242533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3477794429426738181.post-64469788027659001652020-12-12T23:07:00.005-05:002020-12-12T23:08:30.361-05:00Massachusetts Child Support Guidelines News<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhY5Qu-b0xHteaX0FPhlHDPm8rgUUYUoHn3a0mk55o6w1V855OXGWc4PHLnitDaMBHrLDdiKAAnmiS5oG0uHHlYFAoUWrnfb4l-RLmdAYR4KB6W_xwtzFheRaYR-Rh2crfHbplXrby3ie4/s600/CSG+Updates+Calculator.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="400" data-original-width="600" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhY5Qu-b0xHteaX0FPhlHDPm8rgUUYUoHn3a0mk55o6w1V855OXGWc4PHLnitDaMBHrLDdiKAAnmiS5oG0uHHlYFAoUWrnfb4l-RLmdAYR4KB6W_xwtzFheRaYR-Rh2crfHbplXrby3ie4/s320/CSG+Updates+Calculator.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>Every four years, per federal requirements, the Massachusetts Child Support Guidelines must be reviewed. To that end, the Trial Court Chief Justice Paula M. Carey has <a href="https://www.mass.gov/info-details/2020-2021-child-support-guidelines-review">announced the formation of the 2020-2021 Massachusetts Trial Court Child Support Guidelines Task Force</a>. The Task Force is seeking public comment regarding the current Child Support Guidelines. Written comments may be submitted to the Task Force at: <a href="mailto:childsupport@jud.state.ma.us">childsupport@jud.state.ma.us</a> by December 15, 2020.<p></p><p>While we're awaiting the new guidelines, the court has finally <a href="https://www.mass.gov/info-details/probate-and-family-court-2018-child-support-guidelines-worksheet-cjd-304">updated their existing interactive worksheet to be more accessible</a>. The worksheet has been available as an interactive PDF since the last guidelines update in 2018. However, the pdf doesn't work in all readers, and on mobile devices it may not be accessible. The Court has now released <a href="https://courtforms.jud.state.ma.us/publicforms/PFC0001">a web-version of the Child Support Guidelines Worksheet</a> which can be used in any browser or mobile device. The <a href="https://www.mass.gov/doc/livecycle-2018-child-support-guidelines-worksheet/download">pdf option</a> is still available as well. </p>Skylark Law & Mediation, PChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06250036288369242533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3477794429426738181.post-51083783904316279052020-12-02T17:09:00.002-05:002020-12-02T17:09:16.625-05:00Justice App - a Resource worth Downloading<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5MnLwpnY4qtn1jAnN5bnr_OPLPPF07l6rFrbq3I5emXSpoQwTX_ujTV8o7Voc5z5TYTgihNakeEJuHMerTSDCzqbGv3TM4RFA06fAAzjjDNSYPMK8hhoBE2AqYyQtETGwfHwCDfmY9t8/s2532/Screenshot+Justice+App.png" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2532" data-original-width="1170" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5MnLwpnY4qtn1jAnN5bnr_OPLPPF07l6rFrbq3I5emXSpoQwTX_ujTV8o7Voc5z5TYTgihNakeEJuHMerTSDCzqbGv3TM4RFA06fAAzjjDNSYPMK8hhoBE2AqYyQtETGwfHwCDfmY9t8/s320/Screenshot+Justice+App.png" /></a></div><div>Skylark's online <a href="https://skylarklaw.com/divorceandfamilylaw/divorce/massachusetts-child-support-calculator/">Massachsuetts Child Support Calculator </a> was recently added as a resource on JusticeApp - a free downloadable resource from co-founders Damian Turco and Melina Munoz Turco. This is the future of how clients will find reliable information, professionals and resources and we're pleased to be included.</div><div><br /></div><div><i>A Message from the Co-Founders:</i></div><br />JusticeApp is a free mobile app designed to help people with legal problems manage their cases through the court system. The app doesn’t aim to create solutions for every legal problem. Rather, it aggregates credible resources already created and maintain by government, legal aid organization, and, in some select instances, private attorneys, in a simple and clean interface. No more endless internet searches at two in the morning, wondering if the information you find is accurate and reliable. <div><br /></div><div>Without leaving the app, JusticeApp guides you to resources on the law, courthouses, and the court’s official online docket. You can draft court forms and order an court audio recording or transcript of your hearing. It also has a marketplace to search for representation based on price, distance, and rate, including legal aid, free court programs, and private attorneys. And, if you check out the Spotlight feature or subscribe to their youtube channel, you’ll find the Co-Founders, Damian Turco and Melina Munoz Turco, interviewing legal champions to raise awareness about their causes and organizations. JusticeApp is free and in both the Apple and Google Play app stores, so download it and check it out.<p>Website: <a href="https://justiceapp.com/">https://justiceapp.com/</a></p><p>Apple: <a href="https://apps.apple.com/us/app/justiceapp/id1513643433">https://apps.apple.com/us/app/justiceapp/id1513643433</a></p><p>Google Play: <a href="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.app.myappoq">https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.app.myappoq</a> </p><p><br /></p></div>Skylark Law & Mediation, PChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06250036288369242533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3477794429426738181.post-82443505816306887102020-11-17T13:15:00.005-05:002020-11-17T13:16:38.669-05:00Collaborative in a time of COVID<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-L_VxiZAxqwhrA9KCm4nQPIvZPPs2A0oyzGrMCqY5czAAinQWyFD7WsOOavo865UVU4PSfq9RhV0PfCXUY5LgwrksWTwoSySARuCPn2twOUA4YlXddAdNW5Ux1ipQHvd2Fg2CJPIXBcc/s750/nathan-dumlao-JhrY9cwogzo-unsplash+w+CL+title.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="750" data-original-width="500" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-L_VxiZAxqwhrA9KCm4nQPIvZPPs2A0oyzGrMCqY5czAAinQWyFD7WsOOavo865UVU4PSfq9RhV0PfCXUY5LgwrksWTwoSySARuCPn2twOUA4YlXddAdNW5Ux1ipQHvd2Fg2CJPIXBcc/w213-h320/nathan-dumlao-JhrY9cwogzo-unsplash+w+CL+title.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>by <a href="https://www.skylarklaw.com/BethAarons/" target="_blank">Beth Aarons</a><p></p><p>When a former family law colleague of mine told me about Collaborative Law Process sometime around 2008, conceptually it sounded much like a series of traditional four-way meetings, but with a therapist present. As a fledgling dispute resolution process, I saw no harm in adding this skill set to my professional tool kit to bolster the transition of my practice out of litigation and into dispute resolution.</p><p>It was not until several years after I had taken the Introduction to Collaborative Law training that I experienced the actual magic of Collaborative Law Process. The family had been slowly imploding for years and now everything was coming to a head.* Mom and Dad still occupied the same house but had stopped speaking to each other years earlier after Dad had an infidelity. They had decided to divorce but not tell the kids until there was a plan to separate into two households. Mom had lost her job and Dad’s salary was not enough to cover two sets of living expenses, so everything was in a deteriorating holding pattern fraught with stress and tension. The middle school aged child started failing classes and was nighttime bed-wetting. The younger teenage child developed symptoms consistent with obsessive compulsive disorder. It was when the older teenage child made a failed suicide attempt that Mom reacted by filing for divorce.</p><p>Shocked at being served with the divorce action and daunted by the prospect of protracted litigation, Dad reached out to an attorney and eventually invited Mom to put the litigation on hold and try Collaborative Law Process. For this family, even proceeding to the first full team meeting was a huge accomplishment. With so many years of emotional rift to be unpacked, and children clearly in need of effective and proactive co-parenting support, Collaborative Law Process provided the structural format this family required in order to have the very difficult but necessary conversations to lead them out of their toxic holding pattern. It was a framework that let Dad apologize for his indiscretion, and let Mom process her feelings of parental failure over the children’s escalating issues. The professional team helped choreograph the timing and manner of challenging conversations like these so the couple could get “unstuck” and attend to the important financial and parenting decisions they needed to make in their divorce.</p><p>While not all dispute resolution processes fit every client situation, with so many litigants still experiencing significant court delays due to the pandemic, it could be beneficial to see if there might be a dispute resolution process appropriate for the parties to try. Many divorce clients are literally stuck at home in the same type of stressful pressure cooker Mom and Dad’s family experienced. Litigation could still be resumed if the dispute resolution process is unsuccessful, but it would afford at least a chance at more timely settlement and a way for families to move beyond pandemic paralysis.</p><p>In addition, the Collaborative Law Process, like mediation, conciliation and arbitration, translates well to online virtual platforms because they are flexible in nature.</p><p>Need more information? Most dispute resolution practitioners are happy to provide information about the differences between processes to help determine if a process would be appropriate for clients. Or consider taking a dispute resolution process training to get a deep dive into the ins and outs of its inner workings. More knowledge can only help professionals to better assist clients navigating their process choices during COVID or any time.</p><p>*details modified to protect confidentiality</p><div><br /></div><div>If you're interest in learning more about Collaborative Law attend a <a href="https://massclc.org/calendar" target="_blank">Practice Group meeting or an upcoming training at MCLC.</a></div>Skylark Law & Mediation, PChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06250036288369242533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3477794429426738181.post-33850506780652888542020-09-30T00:36:00.006-04:002020-09-30T01:09:22.992-04:002020 U.S. Presidential Platforms - What do they say about Families?<p>In 2016 we shared <a href="https://blog.skylarklaw.com/2016/08/2016-us-presidential-platforms-what-do.html">what each presidential platform stated about families</a> and given the upcoming election we want to update our post with the latest information. There are significant differences between the presidential candidates, and their platforms explain some of the vehemence with which many defend or attack the 2020 candidates. Since this blog focuses primarily on the impact of the law on families and family conflict, we will concentrate on only one portion of the presidential platforms:</p><p><b><span style="font-size: medium;">How does each 2020 U.S. Presidential Platform address families in America?</span></b></p><p>While in 2016 we indicated that we did not endorse any candidate officially, and we provided the platforms in no particular order, in this election the author (Justin Kelsey) cannot, in good conscience make the same statement. The republican nominee for president, Donald Trump, has failed to represent equality, freedom, and human rights for all individuals and families in America and he has expressed opinions about power and elections that threaten the democratic process itself. I, therefore, support Joe Biden for President in the 2020 election.</p><p>With that being said we are providing this information directly from the sources with links to the full platforms, specifically so you can decide for yourselves (and we encourage all eligible voters to vote in the election):</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlbcEhNI9eIdEAV8yuXlb6BmRTxOBdqTRUo65b4chWXsnno2rGFo0vh2pSZSTsSYDufH_6YpoA3C-r5cE-G1RYcS7hqfSfGUvf28JKrDOfR4qaNenNCzpg3WJTa6n_iUma3Tf6zPF0pnI/s901/Democrat+Word+Art.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="554" data-original-width="901" height="246" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlbcEhNI9eIdEAV8yuXlb6BmRTxOBdqTRUo65b4chWXsnno2rGFo0vh2pSZSTsSYDufH_6YpoA3C-r5cE-G1RYcS7hqfSfGUvf28JKrDOfR4qaNenNCzpg3WJTa6n_iUma3Tf6zPF0pnI/w400-h246/Democrat+Word+Art.jpeg" width="400" /></a></div><p><a href="https://democrats.org/where-we-stand/party-platform/">The 2016 Democratic Party Platform</a> mentions the words "family" or "families" 121 times, the words "child" or "children" 99 times, the words "gay", "lesbian", and "LGBT" 37 times, and the word "transgender" 15 times. The Democratic party platform uses the word "marriage" once.</p><p>Below are some of the excerpts from the Democratic party platform's discussions relevant to families:</p><p>Excerpt from "Enacting Robust Work-Family Policies":</p><p></p><blockquote><p>Democrats will implement paid sick days and a high-quality, comprehensive, and inclusive paid family and medical leave system that protects workers from the unfair choice between attending to urgent health or caretaking needs and earning a paycheck. We will fight to ensure workers are guaranteed at least 12 weeks of paid family and medical leave for all workers and family units, to enable new parents to recover from childbirth and bond with their newborns, foster or adopted children, and allow all workers to take extended time off to care for themselves or ailing loved ones.</p></blockquote><p> Excerpt from "Democracy and Human Rights"</p><p></p><blockquote>Democrats will advance the ability of all persons to live with dignity, security, and respect, regardless of who they are or who they love. We will restore the United States’ position of leadership on LGBTQ+ issues by passing the GLOBE Act and appointing senior leaders directly responsible for driving and coordinating LGBTQ+ issues at the State Department, USAID, and the National Security Council. We will ensure that our immigration policies account for the needs of LGBTQ+ refugees and asylum seekers, and that we use the full slate of human rights promotion and accountability tools to defend the universal rights of LGBTQ+ people. We will amplify the voices of LGBTQ+ persons around the world and counter violence and discrimination against LGBTQ+ persons wherever it appears.</blockquote><p></p><p></p><p>Excerpt from "Protecting American and Recovering from the COVID-19 Pandemic"</p><p></p><blockquote>In states and cities across the country, too many parents are being forced to choose between keeping their jobs and keeping their children safe. Democrats believe that making child care affordable and widely available is essential to recovering from the COVID-19 pandemic. We will provide funding to stabilize the sector and ensure child care and educational settings are able to meet the highest possible public health and worker safety standards to protect the health of care workers, children, parents, and the broader community.</blockquote><p>Excerpt from "Securing Reproductive Health, Rights, and Justice"</p><p></p><blockquote>Democrats are committed to protecting and advancing reproductive health, rights, and justice. We believe unequivocally, like the majority of Americans, that every woman should be able to access high-quality reproductive health care services, including safe and legal abortion. We will repeal the Title X domestic gag rule and restore federal funding for Planned Parenthood, which provides vital preventive and reproductive health care for millions of people, especially low-income people, and people of color, and LGBTQ+ people, including in underserved areas.</blockquote><p></p><p></p><p></p><p> Excerpt from "Protecting Women’s Rights"</p><p></p><blockquote>Democrats will fight to guarantee equal rights for women, including by ratifying the Equal Rights Amendment and at long last enshrining gender equality in the U.S. Constitution. We will take aggressive action to end pay inequality, including by increasing penalties against companies that discriminate against women and passing the Paycheck Fairness Act. Democrats are committed to ending sexual assault, domestic abuse, and other violence against women, including the epidemics of violence against Native American women and transgender women of color.</blockquote><p></p><p>Excerpt from "Protecting LGBTQ+ Rights"</p><p></p><blockquote>Democrats applaud this year’s U.S. Supreme Court decision that made clear that employment discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity violates the law, but we know we still have work to do to ensure LGBTQ+ people are treated equally under the law and in our society. We will fight to enact the Equality Act and at last outlaw discrimination against LGBTQ+ people in housing, public accommodations, access to credit, education, jury service, and federal programs. We will work to ensure LGBTQ+ people are not discriminated against when seeking to adopt or foster children, protect LGBTQ+ children from bullying and assault, and guarantee transgender students’ access to facilities based on their gender identity. Democrats will ensure federally funded programs for older adults are inclusive for LGBTQ+ seniors.</blockquote><p></p><p></p><p><a href="https://democrats.org/where-we-stand/party-platform/">Read the full 2020 Democratic Platform here.</a></p><p><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg29YY4VMZatx8_Qmsbe-1PNRjK35UKVwO9OI_b40337IXrurhF9HaUjD3tt9q7Ws1tCW4MPrPtw_aMPgQr-Z6v-zaeKx1enC99H1onpgSBLgDRPr-07akEdTESayf6tFvCfwhg2WzCilg/s901/Republican+Wordart.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="554" data-original-width="901" height="246" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg29YY4VMZatx8_Qmsbe-1PNRjK35UKVwO9OI_b40337IXrurhF9HaUjD3tt9q7Ws1tCW4MPrPtw_aMPgQr-Z6v-zaeKx1enC99H1onpgSBLgDRPr-07akEdTESayf6tFvCfwhg2WzCilg/w400-h246/Republican+Wordart.jpeg" width="400" /></a></div><p><a href="https://prod-cdn-static.gop.com/docs/Resolution_Platform_2020.pdf?_ga=2.165306300.2055661719.1598124638-455285808.1584478680">The 2020 Republican Party Platform</a> <a href="https://ballotpedia.org/The_Republican_Party_Platform,_2020">was not updated from the 2016 platform.</a> The platform mentions the words "family" or "families" 71 times, the words "child" or "children" 50 times, the word "marriage" 19 times. The Republican party platform never uses the words "gay", "lesbian", "LGBT", or "transgender" despite referencing "traditional marriage" repeatedly.</p><p>Below are some of the excerpts from the Republic party platform's discussions relevant to families:<br /><br />Excerpt in "Defending Marriage Against an Activist Judiciary":<br /></p><blockquote class="tr_bq">Traditional marriage and family, based on marriage between one man and one woman, is the foundation for a free society and has for millennia been entrusted with rearing children and instilling cultural values.... We, therefore, support the appointment of justices and judges who respect the constitutional limits on their power and respect the authority of the states to decide such fundamental social questions.</blockquote><p>Excerpt in "The Fifth Amendment: Protecting Human Life"<br /></p><blockquote class="tr_bq">The Constitution’s guarantee that no one can 'be deprived of life, liberty or property' deliberately echoes the Declaration of Independence’s proclamation that 'all' are 'endowed by their Creator' with the inalienable right to life. Accordingly, we assert the sanctity of human life and affirm that the unborn child has a fundamental right to life which cannot be infringed. We support a human life amendment to the Constitution and legislation to make clear that the Fourteenth Amendment’s protections apply to children before birth... We support the appointment of judges who respect traditional family values and the sanctity of innocent human life. We oppose the non-consensual withholding or withdrawal of care or treatment, including food and water, from individuals with disabilities, newborns, the elderly, or the infirm, just as we oppose euthanasia and assisted suicide.</blockquote><p>Excerpt from "Marriage, Family, and Society"<br /></p><blockquote class="tr_bq">Foremost among those institutions is the American family. It is the foundation of civil society, and the cornerstone of the family is natural marriage, the union of one man and one woman... Children raised in a two-parent household tend to be physically and emotionally healthier, more likely to do well in school, less likely to use drugs and alcohol, engage in crime or become pregnant outside of marriage. We oppose policies and laws that create a financial incentive for or encourage cohabitation. Moreover, marriage remains the greatest antidote to child poverty...</blockquote><blockquote class="tr_bq">The data and the facts lead to an inescapable conclusion: Every child deserves a married mom and dad... Our laws and our government’s regulations should recognize marriage as the union of one man and one woman and actively promote married family life as the basis of a stable and prosperous society. For that reason, as explained elsewhere in this platform, we do not accept the Supreme Court’s redefinition of marriage and we urge its reversal, whether through judicial reconsideration or a constitutional amendment returning control over marriage to the states. We oppose government discrimination against businesses or entities which decline to sell items or services to individuals for activities that go against their religious views about such activities.</blockquote><p>Excerpt from "Choice in Education"<br /></p><blockquote class="tr_bq">We renew our call for replacing “family planning” programs for teens with sexual<br />risk avoidance education that sets abstinence until marriage as the responsible and respected standard of behavior. That approach — the only one always effective against premarital pregnancy and sexually-transmitted disease — empowers teens to achieve optimal health outcomes. We oppose school-based clinics that provide referral or counseling for abortion and contraception and believe that federal funds should not be used in mandatory or universal mental health, psychiatric, or socio-emotional screening programs.</blockquote><p><a href="https://prod-cdn-static.gop.com/docs/Resolution_Platform_2020.pdf?_ga=2.165306300.2055661719.1598124638-455285808.1584478680" target="_blank">Read the full 2020 Republican Platform here.</a></p><p><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDySDVTRhKnJFylcGCii7etSG5Z46g7mrCzeMwRKDXwEBVThyphenhyphenm8DOSIW8M2AvNzobuX8_D8YOJwBZhkQyrbolRjdrMCzY_zp9zuar554tSwsVDKi4p9G8NR43RNNX60RTREowOYElc7Mo/s901/GP+Word+Art.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="554" data-original-width="901" height="246" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDySDVTRhKnJFylcGCii7etSG5Z46g7mrCzeMwRKDXwEBVThyphenhyphenm8DOSIW8M2AvNzobuX8_D8YOJwBZhkQyrbolRjdrMCzY_zp9zuar554tSwsVDKi4p9G8NR43RNNX60RTREowOYElc7Mo/w400-h246/GP+Word+Art.jpeg" width="400" /></a></div><p><a href="https://d3n8a8pro7vhmx.cloudfront.net/gpus/pages/10348/attachments/original/1566439082/Platform.pdf?1566439082">The 2020 Green Party Platform</a> mentions the words "child" or "children" 58 times, the words "family", or "families" 52 times, the word "marriage" 3 time, the words "gay", "lesbian", or "LGBT" 9 times, and the word "transgender" 2 times.</p><p>Below are some of the excerpts from the Green party platform's discussions relevant to families:</p><p>Excerpt from "Families and Children"</p><p></p><blockquote>A universal, federally funded childcare program for pre-school and young schoolchildren should be developed.</blockquote><p></p><p>Excerpt from "Foreign Policy: Women's Rights"</p><p></p><blockquote>The Green Party makes a strong and urgent call for U.S. passage of CEDAW, the Convention on the Elimination of all Forms of Discrimination Against Women, which was adopted in 1979 by the UN General Assembly and ratified by 173 countries. It is also known as the Women's Convention, the Women's Bill of Rights, and an International Bill of Rights for Women. The United States is one of a very few countries and the only industrialized nation that has not ratified it.</blockquote><p></p><p>Excerpt from "Civil Rights and Equal Rights: Women's Rights"</p><p></p><blockquote>Democracy cannot work without equality for women, which provides equal participation and representation. It took an extraordinary and ongoing fight over 72 years for women to win the right to vote. However, the Equal Rights Amendment, first introduced in 1923, has still not been ratified by 2012, representing a continuous struggle of 87 years with no victory in sight. We believe that equality should be a given, and that all Greens must work toward that end.</blockquote><p></p><p>Excerpt from "Reproductive Rights"</p><p></p><blockquote>Women's right to control their bodies is non-negotiable. It is essential that the option of a safe, legal abortion remains available. The "morning-after" pill must be affordable and easily accessible without a prescription, together with a government-sponsored public relations campaign to educate women about this form of contraception. Clinics must be accessible and must offer advice on contraception and the means for contraception; consultation about abortion and the performance of abortions, and; abortion regardless of age or marital status.</blockquote><p></p><p>Excerpt from "Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity"</p><p></p><blockquote><p>1. The Green Party affirms the rights of all individuals to freely choose intimate partners, regardless of their sex, gender, or gender identity.</p><p>2. The Green Party recognizes the full civil rights of sexual and gender minorities. The existing civil rights act prohibits discriminating on the basis of race, color, national origin, religion, sex, age, and disability. We will work to add sexual orientation, gender identity, and gender expression to the existing civil rights act.</p></blockquote><p></p><p><a href="https://d3n8a8pro7vhmx.cloudfront.net/gpus/pages/10348/attachments/original/1566439082/Platform.pdf?1566439082">Read the full 2020 Green Party Platform here.</a></p><div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwb4cPrbR1X50FKmKnqXH1NT3vtuwbtH-dfkIOvtez_8hw5prrecpJMdm3RcqFmp8Ce7jP66jGzDzoqk0HcfJBLddWW9GzlxzXEkEoHg9H7E4xcFFHrmG880lORsbJNokmf4mFsONMrug/s901/L+Word+Art.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="554" data-original-width="901" height="246" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwb4cPrbR1X50FKmKnqXH1NT3vtuwbtH-dfkIOvtez_8hw5prrecpJMdm3RcqFmp8Ce7jP66jGzDzoqk0HcfJBLddWW9GzlxzXEkEoHg9H7E4xcFFHrmG880lORsbJNokmf4mFsONMrug/w400-h246/L+Word+Art.jpeg" width="400" /></a></div><div><a href="https://www.lp.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/2020-LP-Platform-0720.pdf">The 2020 Libertarian Party Platform</a> mentions the words "child" or "children" 6 times, and the word "marriage" twice. The Libertarian party platform never uses the words "family", "families", "gay", "lesbian", "LGBT", or "transgender".</div><div><div><br /></div><div>Below are some of the excerpts from the Libertarian party platform's discussions relevant to families:</div></div><div><br /></div><div><div>Excerpt from "Personal Relationships"</div><div><br /></div><div> "Sexual orientation, preference, gender, or gender identity should have no impact on the government’s treatment of individuals, such as in current marriage, child custody, adoption, immigration, or military service laws. Government does not have the authority to define, promote, license, or restrict personal relationships, regardless of the number of participants. Consenting adults should be free to choose their own sexual practices and personal relationships. Until such time as the government stops its illegitimate practice of marriage licensing, such licenses must be granted to all consenting adults who apply."</div><div><br /></div><div>Excerpt from "Abortion"</div><div><br /></div><div> "Recognizing that abortion is a sensitive issue and that people can hold good-faith views on all sides, we believe that government should be kept out of the matter, leaving the question to each person for their conscientious consideration.</div><div><br /></div><div>Excerpt from "Parental Rights"</div><div><br /></div><div> "Parents, or other guardians, have the right to raise their children according to their own standards and beliefs, provided that the rights of children to be free from abuse and neglect are also protected."</div></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><a href="https://www.lp.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/2020-LP-Platform-0720.pdf">Read the full 2016 Libertarian Platform here.</a></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>If you want additional assistance finding information about the presidential elections as well as state and local elections, check out <a href="https://www.votelikeabeast.com/">Vote like a Beast.com</a></div><div><br /></div>Skylark Law & Mediation, PChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06250036288369242533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3477794429426738181.post-17545186049884841622020-09-10T09:54:00.002-04:002021-01-12T22:26:52.835-05:00Easier than Ever to be Collaboratively Trained!<p><b>UPDATE:</b> The first online training was so well received, MCLC is planning a second. The next training will be held March 3-5 from 10AM - 4PM. <a href="https://massclc.org/civicrm/event/info%3Fid%3D812%26reset%3D1">Register here.</a></p><p>The Massachusetts Collaborative Law Council's <a href="https://massclc.org/civicrm/event/info%3Fid%3D720%26reset%3D1" rel="noopener" target="_blank">Introduction to Collaborative Law Training</a> won't be stopped by COVID-19. </p>The training is <strong>September 23-25 from 8AM - 2PM via Zoom. </strong><div><strong><br /></strong></div><div><strong>Flyer: <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzNTwWybkcOi62jaqpbG-8UYXxjGNqEYrN5qH-hOsVrlm9uy0jsqDPonnVJ6asQjGfifk7XxuemmOsi-BJBSpfLTdBs4gg7bOptO5YmkOF6jNM75815PNO9K4zhe1bASl01wP-Q4cC1Yo/s2048/2020+MCLC_Virtual_Training_Final+%25281%2529.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1583" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzNTwWybkcOi62jaqpbG-8UYXxjGNqEYrN5qH-hOsVrlm9uy0jsqDPonnVJ6asQjGfifk7XxuemmOsi-BJBSpfLTdBs4gg7bOptO5YmkOF6jNM75815PNO9K4zhe1bASl01wP-Q4cC1Yo/s320/2020+MCLC_Virtual_Training_Final+%25281%2529.jpg" /></a></div><br /><br /></strong>Collaborative Law is a dispute resolution process similar to mediation but with many differences. It is an opportunity to expand your out-of-court negotiation practice, to increase your negotiation skill-set, and to provide additional service options to your clients. If you've heard about Collaborative Law but you're still not sure, learn more about Collaborative Law by watching this <a href="https://massclc.org/videos" rel="noopener" target="_blank">4-part video series</a>, or <a href="https://skylarklaw.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?appointmentType=4303844">reach out to me directly to schedule a meeting to discuss</a>.<strong><br /></strong><strong><br /><a href="https://massclc.org/civicrm/event/info%3Fid%3D720%26reset%3D1" rel="noopener" style="outline: 0px; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">Register and Learn more here!</a><br /><br /></strong>More Info on the Training:<br /><br />Save time, money, and your commute in this virtual IACP approved basic training in collaborative law. <br /><br />
<ul>
<li>Learn the fundamentals of the Collaborative Law model and how to apply it to both Family & Business Law cases.</li>
<li>Develop results-oriented techniques to help clients reach successful resolutions to disputes.</li>
<li>Identify and implement strategies to navigate challenging cases and to achieve success with high-conflict clients.</li>
<li>Train with experienced professionals who are passionate about the team approach.</li>
<li>Learn best practices for both in-person and virtual collaborative work</li>
<li>Fulfill the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals (IACP) standards for a Collaborative Law Intro Training.</li>
</ul>
<br />Newly added: Interactive sessions and best practices on how to work virtually with clients. <strong><br /><br /><a href="https://massclc.org/civicrm/event/info%3Fid%3D720%26reset%3D1" rel="noopener" target="_blank">Register and Learn more here!</a><br /></strong></div>Skylark Law & Mediation, PChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06250036288369242533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3477794429426738181.post-43395344675014904442020-04-13T12:53:00.001-04:002020-06-09T17:43:25.660-04:00Are Mediators in Massachusetts Certified? <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2Gxp6mHuGYpum09d7il5l_hpf_U0-UYvq7hZrmlcqLTMDwOJlpXfHzSwFXmA47FkH7XF55ZJM91-UZJi2LGLabcJY3Ihorxwum-TJlNDunHbRmns7wSWmgsKQDkp9m0mITLgAkSUmHh4/s1600/certification+question.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="800" data-original-width="800" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2Gxp6mHuGYpum09d7il5l_hpf_U0-UYvq7hZrmlcqLTMDwOJlpXfHzSwFXmA47FkH7XF55ZJM91-UZJi2LGLabcJY3Ihorxwum-TJlNDunHbRmns7wSWmgsKQDkp9m0mITLgAkSUmHh4/s320/certification+question.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
I get this question from lawyers a lot who are wondering if a particular training will "certify" them to be mediators. In fact, I just received an inquiry today related to the upcoming <a href="https://dmtatraining.com/mediation-training-registration/" rel="noopener" target="_blank">40-hour online mediation training provided by Divorce Mediation Training Associates </a>(more info below):<br />
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<strong>Are Mediators in Massachusetts Certified?</strong><br />
<strong><br /> What Mediation Training results in a Certification?</strong><br />
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In Massachusetts there is no government certification or license provided by the Commonwealth certifying mediators. There are some court rules and statutory provisions, however, that require a 30 hour training for certain activities and I believe this is where the misconception about "certification" stems. The court rules and statutes that require training are:<br />
<ul>
<li>Under the mediator confidentiality statute, <a href="https://malegislature.gov/laws/generallaws/partiii/titleii/chapter233/section23c" rel="noopener" target="_blank">Massachusetts General Laws, Chapter 233, Section 23C</a>, mediators who have taken at least 30 hours of training and meet other requirements, have confidentiality protections in their client communications and work product. </li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><a href="https://www.mass.gov/supreme-judicial-court-rules/uniform-dispute-resolution-rule-8-qualifications-standards-for#-c-mediators" rel="noopener" target="_blank">The Uniform Dispute Resolution Rule 8: Qualifications standards for neutrals</a> also requires that mediators take a basic 30 hour training in order to be qualified to receive court referrals for mediation.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>The <a href="https://www.mass.gov/probate-and-family-court-rules/probate-and-family-court-standing-order-1-17-parenting-coordination#-3-qualifications-of-a-parenting-coordinator-" rel="noopener" target="_blank">Probate and Family Court Standing Order 1-17: Parenting coordination</a> also requires 30 hours of mediation training to qualify as a Parent Coordinator. </li>
</ul>
While these are state requirements, training does not "certify" mediators under these provisions; training simply qualifies mediators to meet these requirements.<br />
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Some private organizations do provide certification for mediators, including the Massachusetts Council on Family Mediation, Inc. Those private certifications often have more stringent requirements. For example, MCFM requires an additional 60 hours of training (on top of the 30 hour basic training) as well as a certain level of experience to qualify for their certification. For more information on MCFM's requirements read: <a href="https://mcfm.org/blog/content/how-does-mediator-become-certified" rel="noopener" target="_blank">How does a Mediator become Certified?</a><br />
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If you see a mediator claiming to be certified you should ask what organization has provided their certification and what are the requirements for obtaining that certification because, not all certifications are created equal.<br />
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If you're interested in more reasons to take mediation training read: <a href="https://blog.skylarklaw.com/2020/02/top-5-reasons-to-get-trained-in.html" rel="noopener" target="_blank">Top 5 Reasons to get Trained in Mediation</a>.<br />
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If you're ready to get trained, Divorce Mediation Training Associates is holding a <strong>40 hour online Mediation Training</strong> that not only qualifies for the three Massachusetts state requirements above, but goes beyond and meets the national standard of 40 hours of training. The training begins on April 22 and will take place over nine mornings from 8:30 AM to 1:00 PM (UPDATE: We're doing another training in July as well!). <strong><a href="https://dmtatraining.com/mediation-training-registration/" rel="noopener" target="_blank">Learn more and Register here.</a></strong><br />
<br />
<br />
<div align="center">
<b><span style="color: #0b5394;">Learn about <a href="https://www.skylarklaw.com/options/mediation/" target="_blank">Mediation</a> & <a href="https://www.skylarklaw.com/options/collaborative/" target="_blank">Collaborative Law</a> at <a href="http://skylarklaw.com/">SkylarkLaw.com</a>!</span></b></div>
<br />Skylark Law & Mediation, PChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06250036288369242533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3477794429426738181.post-16793434756663874992020-04-11T08:48:00.001-04:002020-04-11T08:57:21.335-04:00A Template for Avoiding Court<div style="text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvqE-O8rk5v0rVHlfgVu1QYpdO03I42F7-WTEDECIss4jFGcasC3-uPfU96CIAGCqgH9zI7vkNM1WK06SQKy_Ty7iZVshATFQrCjUXAEPnrhcJFqRIlWpwsoXEyGJzs6bFo7rNFfII3qI/s1600/bench+join+us+outside+of+court.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="588" data-original-width="650" height="289" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvqE-O8rk5v0rVHlfgVu1QYpdO03I42F7-WTEDECIss4jFGcasC3-uPfU96CIAGCqgH9zI7vkNM1WK06SQKy_Ty7iZVshATFQrCjUXAEPnrhcJFqRIlWpwsoXEyGJzs6bFo7rNFfII3qI/s320/bench+join+us+outside+of+court.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
"We must come to see with the distinguished jurist of yesterday that</div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>'justice too long delayed is justice denied.'</b>" </span></div>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
- from the <a href="https://web.cn.edu/kwheeler/documents/Letter_Birmingham_Jail.pdf" target="_blank"><i>Letter from Birmingham Jail </i>by Martin Luther King, Jr.</a></div>
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Seeking and obtaining the assistance of the courts in resolving disputes is a right afforded the residents of our republic, but it is not always administered justly and equally. Many have been denied those rights over the years due to discrimination or economic limitations, and it is a privilege of access that many others have come to take for granted.<br />
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The COVID-19 crisis has highlighted just how necessary court access is in emergencies, and also delayed significantly the access to courts for non-emergency matters. Unfortunately, what constitutes an emergency is very limiting, and for many this means bearing the stress and trauma of ongoing litigation for much longer than even the normal lengthy process. Now more than ever is the time to consider alternatives.<br />
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The most common rejection of mediation, and other forms of out-of-court dispute resolution, is that the other side wouldn't agree or participate in good faith. As with anything else we don't control the decisions of other people, and we must focus on what we do control, our own actions and reactions. So if you want to try mediation, or another forum, then ask yourself whether you've done everything you can to make that possible. In order to facilitate that process, we are sharing a sample letter and explanatory flyer (links below). We're encouraging you to consider using these templates to find the right forum for your case:<br />
<br />
Download: <a href="https://www.skylarklaw.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/Sample%20Letter%20to%20Opposing%20Counsel%20or%20Party%20proposing%20ADR.docx" target="_blank">Sample Letter suggesting use of out-of-court dispute resolution</a><br />
<br />
Download: <a href="https://www.skylarklaw.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/You%20Have%20Options%20-%20Dispute%20Resolution%20Forums%20Flyer.pdf" target="_blank">Sample Flyer describing the options for facilitating out-of-court dispute resolutio</a>n<br />
<br />
Outside of Court <a href="https://www.skylarklaw.com/options/" target="_blank">you have other forum options</a> including:<br />
<ul>
<li><a href="https://www.skylarklaw.com/mediation" target="_blank">Mediation</a></li>
<li><a href="https://www.skylarklaw.com/collaborative" target="_blank">Collaborative Law</a></li>
<li><a href="https://www.skylarklaw.com/options/" target="_blank">Facilitated Attorney Negotiation & Settlement Conferences</a></li>
<li><a href="https://www.skylarklaw.com/options/mediation/" target="_blank">Conciliation</a></li>
<li><a href="https://www.skylarklaw.com/options/" target="_blank">Arbitration</a></li>
<li><a href="https://www.skylarklaw.com/options/" target="_blank">Other hybrid combinations of the above choices.</a></li>
</ul>
<div>
The <a href="https://www.skylarklaw.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/You%20Have%20Options%20-%20Dispute%20Resolution%20Forums%20Flyer.pdf" target="_blank">sample flyer</a> includes a short description of each of these forums, and the <a href="https://www.skylarklaw.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/Sample%20Letter%20to%20Opposing%20Counsel%20or%20Party%20proposing%20ADR.docx" target="_blank">sample letter</a> provides a template for sharing your interest in one or more of the options. </div>
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We encourage you to consider how you can affect your current situation and what action you can take. When it comes to seeking ways to resolve your conflict, I'm reminded of the lottery tagline "you can't win if you don't play." If you don't at least ask the other side to try mediation, then you can't keep saying they are the reason you haven't tried it yet.</div>
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For more templates to assist in the settlement of divorce matters in Massachusetts, visit the <a href="https://grayjayendeavors.com/massachusetts-forms-subscription/" target="_blank">Gray Jay Endeavors, LLC divorce forms website.</a></div>
<br />
<br />
<div align="center">
<b><span style="color: #0b5394;">Learn about <a href="https://www.skylarklaw.com/options/mediation/" target="_blank">Mediation</a> & <a href="https://www.skylarklaw.com/options/collaborative/" target="_blank">Collaborative Law</a>
at <a href="http://skylarklaw.com/">SkylarkLaw.com</a>!</span></b></div>
<br />Skylark Law & Mediation, PChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06250036288369242533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3477794429426738181.post-14450474747035896132020-04-07T12:13:00.003-04:002020-04-10T14:41:40.981-04:00In Mediation, Sometimes a Number Isn't a Number<div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgV13knqOMvEdxAeQSD_WsRpNOCRL5Nh1y4tl6lIpeiS28gu5h4ZarpI_tStJZYag25zPIgiONGwtagrBXwYrj4p2Dv1RYoUz4EjTQQcYr0hnZ86WsjHoPX9g-3CxdUR12uqv19ketsMEM/s1600/price+of+peace+calculator.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="400" data-original-width="600" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgV13knqOMvEdxAeQSD_WsRpNOCRL5Nh1y4tl6lIpeiS28gu5h4ZarpI_tStJZYag25zPIgiONGwtagrBXwYrj4p2Dv1RYoUz4EjTQQcYr0hnZ86WsjHoPX9g-3CxdUR12uqv19ketsMEM/s320/price+of+peace+calculator.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
In many settlement negotiations, the two sides narrow their disagreement to a small gap in their positions, a gap so small it pales in comparison to the total amount of money being discussed. This happens often in divorce mediation, where clients threaten to blow up a multi-million dollar divorce settlement over the last $5,000 disagreement. Why would anyone do that? Why would either side let everything fall apart over an amount they'll obviously spend on attorneys if they continue fighting?</div>
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The reason is that it is seldom about the money, and it is often about what the money represents. Those last few dollars in a negotiation often represent winning or losing; they represent the potential for acknowledgment or just another rejection; they represent all the giving in that got us here thus far, and the loss that goes with it; and in a divorce those last few dollars potentially represent the true end of the relationship and the last chance to hang on.</div>
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Our friend and fellow mediator, David Kellem, wrote an excellent article entitled the <a href="https://www.kellemlawgroup.com/blog/2018/march/david-s-divorce-dictionary-price-of-peace/">Price of Peace</a> where he describes asking a client stuck on the last $15,000 of a lengthy and painful negotiation from which both parties had already moved on to new relationships: "how would it feel to you if this afternoon you went home to Diane and instead of telling her how awful your wife is, you could tell her that the case is settled and that life can move forward?<br />
<br />
David broke the cycle by helping his client see that regardless of what the final number was (within reason), the value of peace and a finalized divorce was something he had to weigh by his own standard of value. This is a value only clients can choose, and is often overlooked because it doesn't have a legal or financial value. Only a client can decide if the price of peace is more important to them than the cost of the fight.</div>
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Often the number that clients are left disagreeing about is not going to make or break either of them. The remaining disagreement often stems more from a feeling of "right"; about where they are each coming from and what that number might represent to each of them.<br />
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Instead, of focusing on those feelings of loss, I encourage clients to think about that number, as much as possible, as just a number that will allow them to finalize their conflict. I ask them to recognize that regardless of where they land it's not going to make either of them whole. Unfortunately in a divorce no-one leaves whole, but it is possible to leave having found enough peace to move on and start healing.<br />
<br />
<div align="center">
<b><span style="color: #0b5394;">Learn about <a href="https://www.skylarklaw.com/options/mediation/" target="_blank">Mediation</a> & <a href="https://www.skylarklaw.com/options/collaborative/" target="_blank">Collaborative Law</a>
at <a href="http://skylarklaw.com/">SkylarkLaw.com</a>!</span></b></div>
<br /></div>
Skylark Law & Mediation, PChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06250036288369242533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3477794429426738181.post-77797594488071140102020-03-19T13:16:00.000-04:002020-04-10T14:42:04.897-04:00Replace your cancelled Court Hearing with a Mediation<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiem_Ynm8BzgUHvlXx1fmG4PLVTdaVNiAV9Ujsri4svo3mkebE337omIjlhkLIFiTLgDtWa9KldiZR6CicttbmL_hE2Bxqe3ucXyBXgTfUNf9fjBOCBoR5AHpSndYl_p8VWa9rkQ1m2Uzc/s1600/Zoom+Video+Star.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="626" data-original-width="797" height="251" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiem_Ynm8BzgUHvlXx1fmG4PLVTdaVNiAV9Ujsri4svo3mkebE337omIjlhkLIFiTLgDtWa9KldiZR6CicttbmL_hE2Bxqe3ucXyBXgTfUNf9fjBOCBoR5AHpSndYl_p8VWa9rkQ1m2Uzc/s320/Zoom+Video+Star.png" width="320" /></a></div>
If you have a court hearing scheduled in the next few weeks, most likely you've been told it's postponed. While some hearings will be scheduled telephonically and by video conference, the COVID-19 pandemic is likely causing significant delays in obtaining a hearing and an order or judgment. This is understandable as the court and the bar figure out how to adjust to this crisis. Regardless of how understandable these delays are, though, the experience for individuals going through conflict must be frustrating, disappointing, and in some cases devastating.<br />
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Now is the time to consider your alternatives to court.</span></b></div>
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Mediation, conciliation, collaborative representation, and arbitration are all available options to those looking to resolve their issues without further delay. Many of these dispute resolution professionals already have experience using videoconferencing to meet with clients and for us, our business has continued almost uninterrupted. At my office, <a href="https://www.skylarklaw.com/" target="_blank">Skylark Law & Mediation, PC</a>, the majority of our clients have opted to continue receiving mediation and collaborative services via videoconferencing rather than postponing their meetings. It's not the same as being in person, but for clients, it's better than waiting to address their pressing issues.<br />
<br />
So, if your clients are frustrated by the necessary delays in the court process, consider telling them again about their other options. If you're looking for family conflict mediators you can find a list of professionals via the <a href="https://mcfm.org/" target="_blank">Massachusetts Council on Family Mediation</a> website. If your clients may not be able to afford a private mediator, consider the many community mediation services in Massachusetts that provide services on a sliding fee scale basis - all listed on the <a href="https://www.resolutionma.org/" target="_blank">Resolution Massachusetts website</a>.<br />
<br />
If you're looking for a specific recommendation for a dispute resolution professional in any area of the law, feel free to <a href="https://www.skylarklaw.com/contact/" target="_blank">reach out to me directly</a>, or post a comment to this thread with your referral request.<br />
<br />
Finally, this crisis is also an opportunity to think about how we plan to deal with conflict in the future. We can continue business as usual when this crisis has passed (which it will), or we can reflect on whether this crisis has highlighted a better way to approach conflict. Take these steps to be better prepared the next time an emergency situation occurs:<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>Get to know a mediator or co-parenting coordinator who can be a resource for your family in times of crisis. Don't assume your lawyer or the court is going to be there to help, or that they should be your first call when there is a conflict. </li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>For professionals, get trained in mediation or collaborative law so you can provide additional service options to your clients (visit these links to sign up for a <a href="https://dmtatraining.com/divorce-mediation-training-40-hours/" target="_blank">mediation training</a> or <a href="https://massclc.org/civicrm/event/info%3Fid%3D720%26reset%3D1" target="_blank">collaborative law training</a> in the fall).</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>Encourage the Massachusetts Bar Association (or your local bar association) to add mediation, conciliation, collaborative representation, and arbitration, as service options in their lawyer referral directory. This has been proposed before to the Mass Bar and rejected, but it seems like it may finally be time to recognize how important it is to have alternatives to the court, and that the professionals who offer those alternatives offer a vital service.</li>
</ul>
<div align="center">
<b style="text-align: -webkit-center;"><span style="color: #0b5394;">Learn about <a href="https://www.skylarklaw.com/options/mediation/" target="_blank">Mediation</a> & <a href="https://www.skylarklaw.com/options/collaborative/" target="_blank">Collaborative Law</a> at <a href="http://skylarklaw.com/">SkylarkLaw.com</a>!</span></b></div>
Skylark Law & Mediation, PChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06250036288369242533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3477794429426738181.post-37137271848723885292020-03-18T17:45:00.005-04:002020-04-10T14:42:54.930-04:00Co-Parenting in a Crisis: COVID-19 and Beyond<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgELr7La69Weca0dSHlut20-sAFPocCoL9QcKXtCbg-U3bdGoEzEpEIhX8h7saWNEAjO18T3vcMwWLgm4soXrlVws8-sososKcAzMcD16AY7TCEF9Y_4VQM6RKOiP8lYHS0nxzvu0ottDI/s1600/Girl+on+floor+with+crackers+-+wfh.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="692" data-original-width="767" height="288" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgELr7La69Weca0dSHlut20-sAFPocCoL9QcKXtCbg-U3bdGoEzEpEIhX8h7saWNEAjO18T3vcMwWLgm4soXrlVws8-sososKcAzMcD16AY7TCEF9Y_4VQM6RKOiP8lYHS0nxzvu0ottDI/s320/Girl+on+floor+with+crackers+-+wfh.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<b>UPDATE: </b><a href="https://www.mass.gov/news/open-letter-regarding-co-parenting-during-covid-19-from-chief-justice-john-d-casey" target="_blank"><b>Chief Justice John D. Casey sends an </b><b>Open letter regarding co-parenting during COVID-19:</b></a><br />
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"It is times like this, when society faces threats once thought unimaginable, that the rule of law is more important than ever... Parenting orders are not stayed during this period of time. In fact, it is important that children spend time with both of their parents and that each parent have the opportunity to engage in family activities, where provided for by court order. In cases where a parent must self-quarantine or is otherwise restricted from having contact with others, both parents should cooperate to allow for parenting time by video conference or telephone."<br />
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<b>Additional resources have become available during this crisis, please scroll to the bottom of this post for more resources.</b><br />
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<b>Co-Parenting in a Crisis: COVID-19 and Beyond</b></div>
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by <a href="https://www.skylarklaw.com/jenniferhawthorne/" target="_blank">Jennifer Hawthorne</a><br />
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Mediators and collaborative professionals work with parents to create a realistic and practical parenting plan that is detailed enough to provide a roadmap for parents but flexible enough to allow for change given new circumstances.<br />
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At times though, even the best reality testing fails because life throws situations at us that may have been unimaginable when the parenting plan was created. What we are all living through now with the COVID-19 pandemic and the necessary social distancing it has brought is certainly beyond what most of us imagined would occur during our lifetimes. This sort of thing only happens in dystopian movies and novels, right?<br />
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For families who live in two homes, the social distancing and potential government imposition of a full quarantine, like those already in effect in Italy and China, brings with it challenges beyond staying healthy, keeping your distance from others, and ensuring you have enough food and toilet paper to get you through the next two or more weeks.<br />
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For parents, at a minimum, it also means thinking about:<br />
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<li>When and how your children should move between homes during periods of social distancing?</li>
<li>Should the children bring belongings back and forth? </li>
<li>Is there consensus on who will be allowed near the children during this period of social distancing as well as who each parent will be around to allow for proper tracking if either parent or the children begin showing signs of illness? (Significant others, other children in the household, grandparents, etc.)</li>
<li>What is the plan if one parent starts showing signs of illness while they have parenting time? </li>
<li>What is the plan if one parent starts showing signs of illness while they do not have parenting time? </li>
<li>What is the backup plan if both parents show signs of illness at the same time? </li>
<li>What if a child becomes ill? </li>
<li>What if both parents are hospitalized? </li>
<li>Do you both have a list of emergency childcare providers? </li>
<li>Do you both have contact information for doctors and family members who may need updating?</li>
<li>Where will the children stay if the government stops allowing free movement? </li>
<li>What technology can you leverage to continue to allow the children to meaningfully interact with the non-residential parent if a full quarantine is put into place?</li>
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In the short-term, while free movement is still allowed, to keep a sense of normalcy for your children, if at all possible, it’s probably best to stick to your regular parenting plan with lots of hand washing and sanitizing as the children move between households. If because of a lack of school, lack of childcare, and/or employer expectations it’s not possible to stick to a normal schedule, try to come up with a plan that might meet everyone’s needs for the next few weeks. If you need assistance having these emotionally charged and stressful conversations, reach out to a mediator or co-parenting coordinator who might be able to help you talk through some contingency planning.<br />
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The mediators at <a href="https://www.skylarklaw.com/" target="_blank">Skylark</a> are available via Zoom so that we can all continue practicing social distancing while still helping our clients make difficult co-parenting decisions. Although we always encourage dispute resolution before court action, for anyone reading who might be inclined to let a judge determine your contingency parenting plan, it’s important to know that the Supreme Judicial Court has issued multiple orders limiting access to state courthouses and court facilities. <a href="https://www.mass.gov/orgs/massachusetts-supreme-judicial-court/news" target="_blank">Visit the court's website for the latest orders.</a><br />
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We hope everyone reading stays safe and healthy, and we encourage a little planning now which could provide some relief in the future from the stress that this type of crisis has left us all feeling. Should a health crisis or quarantine arise for your family, creating a plan now will alleviate the need to do so when things become even more difficult.<br />
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Even if you have a plan for this crisis, use this time to consider building into your parenting plan a process for how emergency decisions will be made in the future, and who you will work with if you're unable to reach agreement. Get to know a mediator or co-parenting coordinator who can be a resource for your family in times of crisis. You may hope you never need them, and if you do then you'll at least feel like one more thing is in your control at a time when other things may feel out of control.<br />
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<b>UPDATE: Additional resources have become available during this crisis:</b><br />
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<b><a href="https://www.massgeneral.org/children/infectious-diseases/how-to-talk-to-kids-about-coronavirus" target="_blank">How to Talk to Your Children About the Coronavirus (COVID-19)</a></b><br />
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<b><a href="https://www.afccnet.org/Portals/0/COVID19Guidelinesfordivorcedparents.FINAL.pdf?ver=2020-03-17-202849-133" target="_blank">Seven Guidelines for Parents who are Divorced/Separated and Sharing Custody of Children During the COVID-19 Pandemic</a></b><br />
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<a href="https://www.afccnet.org/Coronavirus" target="_blank"><b>AFCC - Coronavirus (COVID-19) Resources and Information</b></a><br />
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As courts and government officials deal with this crisis, more and more will issue orders that address how parenting plans should be enforced during stay-at-home requirements. A few examples have already been issued:<br />
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<a href="https://www.mass.gov/news/open-letter-regarding-co-parenting-during-covid-19-from-chief-justice-john-d-casey" target="_blank">Chief Justice John D. Casey sends an Open letter regarding co-parenting during COVID-19</a>: "Parenting orders are not stayed during this period of time..."<br />
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<a href="https://www.dallascounty.org/Assets/uploads/docs/courts/family-district/03.17.20-STANDINGORDER.pdf" target="_blank">Dallas County Standing Order Regarding Possession Schedule During School Closures</a><br />
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<a href="https://wbns-cdn.s3.us-east-2.amazonaws.com/files/Ohio-Stay-at-Home-Order.pdf" target="_blank">Ohio Department of Health Stay at Home Order </a>which includes a provision allowing for essential travel to "transport children pursuant to a custody agreement."<br />
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Skylark Law & Mediation, PChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06250036288369242533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3477794429426738181.post-79884817100509355602020-02-24T11:22:00.004-05:002020-04-10T14:44:25.056-04:00The Variations of Closeness: How would you draw your marriage over time?Olivia De Recat created the amazingly simple but impactful image below. There are multiple types of relationships depicted, and yet many more that could be added. There is beauty in both the simplicity and the depth of the drawing. On my first viewing I thought of this quote from the movie Fight Club: "On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero." The image reminds us that every relationship is finite, and that is both sad and powerful.<br />
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Upon thinking about it more, I realized the drawing also shows how many ways our lives are touched by so many different types of relationships. While we often try to process our relationships as good or bad, there is no judgment on the quality of a relationship based on its closeness over time. There are just differences in how we experience our interactions with different people at different times in our lives.<br />
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That also reminds me of how many different marriages there are. As a divorce mediator I am often asked if there are trends that I see in the people that choose to get divorced. The reality is that every relationship is different, and we're lucky to be close to anyone in our lives even if that closeness varies over time.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihov8yN4hVLwb1GPZ-Ig2jSwVY2nzPOt40vLzOWfJKDRu58-t_VMoCzbIrgIGkTV0JYLwVPLyUVnRkUOxRtjDjj_ym5m5DYpgrZ-WNyaMgSOll1hGM5ct6lFdlUuJ9srT5ZQLsHriKL2Y/s1600/Closeness%252BLines_Oliva+de+Recat.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="600" data-original-width="750" height="512" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihov8yN4hVLwb1GPZ-Ig2jSwVY2nzPOt40vLzOWfJKDRu58-t_VMoCzbIrgIGkTV0JYLwVPLyUVnRkUOxRtjDjj_ym5m5DYpgrZ-WNyaMgSOll1hGM5ct6lFdlUuJ9srT5ZQLsHriKL2Y/s640/Closeness%252BLines_Oliva+de+Recat.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<a href="https://www.oliviaderecat.com/">View her other work and support the artist by clicking here.</a><br />
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How would you draw your relationships?<br />
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<br />Skylark Law & Mediation, PChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06250036288369242533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3477794429426738181.post-55199312144187943822020-02-19T15:39:00.002-05:002020-04-10T14:44:51.357-04:00Top 5 Reasons to get Trained in Mediation<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Mediation is a process for resolving disputes with an impartial facilitator. The mediator helps open and improve dialogue between two or more individuals in hopes of finding an acceptable resolution for everyone involved. There are many advantages to settling disputes through mediation, and we need more mediators in this world to help spread the word.<br />
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<a href="https://dmtatraining.com/mediation-training-registration/"><strong><button style="-webkit-transition-duration: 0.4s; background-color: #583d84; border: none; box-shadow: 0 12px 16px 0 rgba(0 , 0 , 0 , 0.24) , 0 17px 50px 0 rgba(0 , 0 , 0 , 0.19); color: white; cursor: pointer; display: inline-block; font-size: 16px; margin: 4px 2px; padding: 15px 32px; text-align: center; text-decoration: none; transition-duration: 0.4s;"><b>Register for Mediation Training</b></button></strong></a><br />
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If you're thinking about taking a mediation training here are five reasons you should do it sooner rather than later:<br />
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<b>1. Mediation is good for Clients</b><br />
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Mediation helps clients because it is typically less expensive and more efficient than litigation, it gives the clients control over their timeline and the outcome, and it is private. These are all things that clients typically value in resolving a dispute. When educated about the benefits of mediation, most clients will be open to at least trying mediation before pursuing other options. The risk is typically low and the potential benefit significant. Potential clients will appreciate that you offer mediation as an option, and existing clients will appreciate that you are educated about a service they might seek to use.<br />
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<b>2. Mediation is proven to Work</b><br />
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Most studies or programs that have tracked the settlement rate of mediation sessions, show that about 85-95% of the time mediation is successful in helping clients reach full settlement. In addition, even in cases that don't reach full settlement, there may be improvements in the relationship between the parties, which many might consider a success. One study of family mediation found that parents were much more likely to have an ongoing relationship with their children after simply trying mediation for five hours, even if they didn't settle. <a href="https://blog.skylarklaw.com/2010/11/dramatic-impact-of-mediation-on.html">Read more about that study by clicking here.</a><br />
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<b>3. Mediation is good for the Mediator</b><br />
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Speaking from experience, mediation is a rewarding process to be involved in. The process of mediation gives clients power over their decisions, and even when people have difficult conversations, the majority reach an agreement that they feel in control of. That process is empowering and meaningful, and as the mediator helping parties have that experience can be very rewarding. While not all lawyers are mediators, as a lawyer-mediator there is strong contrast between my experience in mediation and my experience litigating. In litigation, people are often frustrated by how little control they have over the rules, the process, and the outcome. It's much more enjoyable to have clients who are happy with their process even when the outcome is not everything they may have wanted initially.<br />
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<b>4. Mediation will Grow</b><br />
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The growth of online shopping and services, has led to a more educated class of consumers in the modern world. Consumers want efficiency, and they want services that are proven to work. Mediation is the settlement process that most closely resembles the online shopping culture, and if necessary mediation can even be conducted online with advancements in user friendly video conferencing software. Mediation is going to continue to grow, and offering that service will become more and more of a necessity for dispute resolution professionals who want to keep up.<br />
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In Massachusetts, in order to take mediator referrals from the court, or to mediate with privilege, the statute requires that you take a 30 hour training. The courts are inviting mediators into the courthouse more and more often to assist in resolving cases, and as this trend grows, there will be more and more opportunities to participate in mediation, if you've taken the necessary training.<br />
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<b>5. Mediation skills are Life Skills</b><br />
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After taking the mediation training myself, I started recommending it to everyone I know, whether they will be a mediator or not. Most mediation trainings include a focus on active listening techniques and interest based negotiation. These skills will make you a better negotiator whether it's part of your job or just in your own life. These are skills that can improve your relationships and reduce conflict in your life.<br />
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If you're interested in taking a mediation training, there are many opportunities including two trainings per year held by Divorce Mediation Training Associates, with the next training scheduled in March, 2020 in Needham, Massachusetts. Learn more here: <a href="https://dmtatraining.com/divorce-mediation-training-40-hours/">40 hour Divorce Training.</a><br />
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<br />Skylark Law & Mediation, PChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06250036288369242533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3477794429426738181.post-90517209999177725372020-02-12T18:23:00.000-05:002020-02-12T18:23:42.403-05:00The Difference between Disclosure and Division in Divorce<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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We encourage our clients to use non-adversarial joint problem solving to resolve conflict. A simpler way of saying that is that we work with people to talk about and solve their problems together. We ask our clients to stop seeing the other person as an obstacle to overcome, and rather to see them as an ally in finding a solution that can work for everyone. Consider the advantages of this approach when it comes to a financial negotiation:<br />
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Just like poker players hide their cards when they play a hand, people often assume the best approach to negotiation is to hold back information to achieve the best outcome for themselves. This analogy ignores the fact that the rules of poker are designed around having incomplete information, and using clues to gain an edge. The rules of negotiation are often different depending on the context. For example, in a divorce case the court in Massachusetts requires certain financial information to be automatically disclosed, and other information that is likely to lead to relevant information can be obtained through formal discovery.<br />
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In a Massachusetts divorce case, whether the parties settle (and file a Joint Petition) or go through litigation (on a Complaint for Divorce), a Judge is still required to approve any settlement agreement at a hearing, and the parties are both required to file a court form Financial Statement. The Financial Statement is an under oath statement intended to be a true, accurate, and complete summary of each person's income, expenses, assets, and liabilities. Through this format, in Massachusetts a basic disclosure of all financial information is required in every divorce case.<br />
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These rules ensure an even playing field in negotiation and settlement. However, it's important to understand that disclosing an asset doesn't necessarily mean it must be divided. Massachusetts asset division is governed by <a href="https://malegislature.gov/laws/generallaws/partii/titleiii/chapter208/section34">M.G.L. chapter 208 section 34</a>, which defines a number of factors for the court to determine an equitable division, and equitable does not necessarily mean equal.<br />
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<b><i>That is why we think it is important to distinguish between Disclosure and Division.</i></b></div>
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Just because something is disclosed and both people have the same information, doesn't mean that they will agree on how to divide something, nor should it imply that they have to. This is where additional information can help enlighten a negotiation, helping each side understand the others' position or goals.<br />
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The other person in a conflict is the only other person in the world who has as much information as you about the issue causing disagreement. All the professionals you work with will never know as much as you do about your own life. So the best problem solving method should put the two of you at the center, and provide you with an effective path for working together.<br />
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In addition to this basic financial disclosure required by the court, in a divorce mediation or collaborative divorce, the guiding principle is that people making decisions should have the same information. Outside of court, mediation and collaborative law set their own rules about what should be disclosed or requested. People in conflict are sometimes unsure about what to share and what to hold back, and they might not be clear on the "rules" especially if they're afraid that disclosing something means it will automatically be divided.<br />
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That is why it's crucial to explain the difference between disclosure and division. We guide our clients through joint problem solving by encouraging them to think of the process as follows:<br />
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People may disagree about the impact of information, but if they have the same information there is an opportunity to address the areas of disagreement. If an asset or income stream is hidden, then people can't agree on it's impact, and if later discovered, the act of hiding something can destroy all possibility of joint problem solving.<br />
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The court process is designed to set up specific rules for default information to share, and puts the burden on the person requesting the information to be both specific and to enforce their requests. This is a necessity in an adversarial system where the assumption is that everyone is trying to hide something. In mediation and collaborative law, we start with a different assumption: that people who are willing to commit to joint problem solving will also share all relevant information in an effort to work together. We start with the assumption that people can make their joint problem into a joint solution, and that working together will be more enlightening as to the best possible solutions for all.<br />
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<br />Skylark Law & Mediation, PChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06250036288369242533noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3477794429426738181.post-24179295095163187452020-02-04T16:38:00.000-05:002020-05-20T18:40:50.413-04:00Divorce Options - an Update for 2020In 2014, we didn't know yet who would be running for president in the 2016 election, the <a href="https://youtu.be/d96cjJhvlMA">Guardians of the Galaxy</a> had just arrived, Pharrell Williams was "<a href="https://youtu.be/y6Sxv-sUYtM">Happy</a>", and the <a href="https://www.cdc.gov/vhf/ebola/history/2014-2016-outbreak/index.html">Ebola virus outbreak was reaching epidemic proportions</a> in West Africa.<br />
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Also, in 2014 we posted a 3-part article on <a href="https://blog.skylarklaw.com/2014/05/starting-divorce-process-part-1-you.html">Starting the Divorce Process</a>, and despite how much has changed since 2014, divorce is pretty much the same. You have a choice when getting divorced; you decide how much professional help you want, how much control you want to have over the outcome, and how much time and energy you have to devote to your divorce.<br />
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<b>What is different in 2020</b> is the continued growth in popularity of divorce process options that focus on family over fighting. More professionals are trained every year in collaborative law and mediation. <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Conscious_uncoupling">Conscious uncoupling</a> has become a buzzword for a better divorce. More and more resources are showing up to help explain the options in divorce in more understandable and approachable ways:<br />
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<a href="https://massclc.org/videos">A Collaborative Law Success Story - 4 part video series</a><br />
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<a href="https://massclc.org/videos">Mediation Helps Solve your Conflict - Video</a><br />
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In 2014 we outlined <a href="https://blog.skylarklaw.com/2014/05/starting-divorce-process-part-3-what-is.html"><span id="goog_1510299022"></span>the divorce process options<span id="goog_1510299023"></span></a> and the differences between collaborative law, mediation and more traditional options. Since then, in my experience of working actively in the collaborative law and mediation communities, I've seen an increase in the creativity that professionals and clients are willing to bring to problem solving.<br />
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<b><span style="color: blue;">In 2020, it's okay to say that cases </span></b></div>
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<span style="color: blue;"><b>don't have to fit into one process </b><b>box.</b></span></div>
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Litigators are more open to using mediators to settle cases before trial, or using joint experts in the course of a negotiation. Mediators are bringing in divorce coaches and financial professionals to help their clients when the issues require expert assistance. The <a href="https://blog.skylarklaw.com/2018/05/improving-negotiations-using.html">tools available in a collaborative law case are being recognized as possible ways to improve any negotiation</a>. Even in the courts, which are notoriously slow to adapt,<a href="https://blog.skylarklaw.com/2019/07/innovation-in-family-court-real-imagined.html"> pilot programs are exploring how non-adversarial approaches can help families</a>.</div>
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The growth of collaborative law and mediation has been slower than some would like (the author of this article included), <a href="https://blog.skylarklaw.com/2019/07/its-time-for-less-buts-in-mediation.html"><strike>but</strike> and</a> the future is bright with possibilities. </div>
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In a divorce, we ask clients to look a year or two in the future and think about what they want their life to be like. This helps them see the hope that is possible and determine what process might be best for them. Looking back at the growth from 2014 to 2020, I'm also filled with hope about what is possible for the future of conflict resolution.</div>
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We've updated our Divorce Process Options chart to reflect this mindset of hope. We created two versions with different levels of information, and you can decide which you prefer. Feel free to share either on your website, or print and share with your clients (keeping our copyright and contact information for attribution):<br />
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<a href="https://www.skylarklaw.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/2020-Divorce-Options-Typical.pdf" target="_blank">Click here to download a printable version of the simplified Divorce Options Chart</a></div>
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<br />Skylark Law & Mediation, PChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06250036288369242533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3477794429426738181.post-8084508838389329442020-01-30T19:03:00.004-05:002022-01-03T23:00:57.128-05:00Can't we all just get along? The biggest misconception about Mediation and Collaborative Law<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div>
One of the more common comments I hear when I tell people that I'm a mediator is<br />
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<b>"It sounds great, but it wouldn't have worked for me." </b></div>
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When mediation has been shown to be about 85% successful in most studies, why do so many people assume it won't work for their conflict? The answer is that many people believe that difficult conflicts can only be resolved through compromise; by at least one side giving up something and admitting at least a partial defeat. When the stakes are high enough, people believe you can only reach agreement or resolution by beating the other side or giving in. Sure, if you're getting along and you mostly agree then talking it out can work, but if not you may as well prepare for war. And wars always have clear winners and losers, right?<br />
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<b>The power of mediation and collaborative law is how trained professionals</b></div>
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<b>help people find answers </b><b>when they're NOT getting along.</b></div>
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In actual practice, mediators and collaborative practitioners are specifically trained to help people have difficult conversations, and to find ways to break down conflicts that seem insurmountable. In order for mediation and collaborative law to work you only have to have an open mind and be willing to do the work to face your conflict instead of hiding from it.<br />
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The real reason many people let lawyers negotiate for them or judges decide for them, is because they're unwilling to face the conflict they have with the other side, they're unwilling to have difficult conversations, and they're afraid of failing. Sure, there are some cases where the other side is unwilling to be reasonable, but if everyone thinks that way, then everyone is unreasonable. </div>
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To think about it another way check out this twitter thread using a conflict over pizza as the example:</div>
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Think about it this way: You’re in your home and you and your partner have a disagreement about something, let’s say it’s what to have for dinner. You want to cook homemade pizza and they want to order a pizza. Who is right? 2/</div>
— Justin L. Kelsey ☮️ (@skylarklaw) <a href="https://twitter.com/skylarklaw/status/1222171699514310656?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">January 28, 2020</a></blockquote>
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For more information on how #mediation and #collaborativelaw actually work check out these articles:<br />
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<a href="https://massclc.org/videos">A Collaborative Law Success Story - 4 part Video Series</a><br />
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<a href="https://blog.skylarklaw.com/2019/10/youre-thinking-about-conflict-all-wrong.html">You're Thinking about Conflict All Wrong</a><br />
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<a href="https://blog.skylarklaw.com/2018/08/what-does-it-mean-to-call-yourself.html">What Does it Mean to Call Yourself a Collaborative Lawyer?</a><br />
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<a href="https://blog.skylarklaw.com/2018/05/improving-negotiations-using.html">Improving Negotiations using Collaborative Values: A Checklist of Tools</a><br />
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<a href="https://blog.skylarklaw.com/2016/12/why-do-people-go-to-court-to-get_9.html">Why do People go to Court to get Divorced? Because that's where the money is...</a><br />
<br />Skylark Law & Mediation, PChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06250036288369242533noreply@blogger.com0